The above line is from one of my favorite movies "Sideways" in which the hero is having a pity party because nothing is going right and noone understands him. He is bright but it just distances him from everyone else and he is thinking that maybe life is just waiting for the abattoir (slaughterhouse). Of course his friend has no idea what he is saying most of the time but has plenty of solutions for his funk.
So nights are the worst where I wake up and think. Sometimes I read instead. I've been going through Chicken Soup for the Cancer Patient. 100+ little vignettes that all go like this: person gets cancer with a very poor prognosis and feels sorry for themselves and makes themselves more miserable. At some point, the patient figures out he has to stop and smell the roses and decides to make his remaining last 6 months the best. While he is enjoying life, somehow the cancer just mysteriously disappears. How uplifting!
But as usual, I am missing the point and getting another message. I was always missing the point of Biblical Parables. My favorite was that of the ten brides: 5 were wise and 5 were foolish. They were all waiting for the groom (only one groom for the ten of them-so much for the one man/one woman "Christian" ideal) and it wasn't clear when he was going to show up (?). So the foolish ones burned through their oil and begged in vain for the wise ones to share theirs. The wise ones were ready for the groom and the foolish SOL, which I guess meant-no nookie tonight. The point is that you always have to be ready for the Lord as you 'know not the hour he cometh.' But I thought that those wise ones were supposed to be sharing and their selfish behavior was being rewarded. In Strasbourg, the main portal to the Cathedral has the whole story carved into its red sandstone. Not only were the 5 foolish, they were ugly too and not smiling.
J&J made it safely to Maryland and are skiing today. It will be 50 deg there tomorrow. Shanna and Oliver will come here soon. I don't feel too bad, just a little queasy. I still have hair flying out all over.
In September 2008, I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer, a huge shock to me. Within you will find my journey into the scary world of cancer and my struggles to emerge from it.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
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- Chemo brain redux
- A decent wig at last!!!!
- Waiting for Looking good, feeling pretty
- Have a Merry Chemo X-mas!
- Up and running
- Adaptations
- Merry Xmas from Chemoland
- Chemo dreams
- Waiting for the abattoir..
- The Shammas candle
- The Wig is in
- Hair fall
- Snow
- If your man tests positive for pregnancy...
- The Smell of cancer
- The Cancer X-mas stocking-Round 2, Day 1
- The weight of a breast
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- Happy Anniversary!
- Don't worry, only the good die young
- Lighten up
- Picking ones poison
- The "Elusive" is indeed elusive
- Wig out
- Time stands still
- Starting to fade
- Sin tetas, hay no pairiso*
- Who wants to be me?
- 1 down, 111 days to go
- Slash/poison/burn: Poison Cycle 1, Day I
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2 comments:
Hi Sue,
I think of you often and send good thoughts your way during this difficult (read: shitty) time. I hope you enjoy your loved ones this Christmas.
Kathy
Breast cancer was the most common form of the disease for women. It is scary but with the advance made in technology there are more tools and treatment options that can be used to fight breast cancer than ever before. Surgery offers the best chance for a cure. However for those who don't have surgery as an option, minimally invasive treatments known as thermal ablation and laser therapy are results of the progress that imaging technology has made. Consult Breast Cancer Sarasota County, Florida http://www.localdoctordirectory.com/doctor_index_1173.htmlTo know more.
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