Friday, December 12, 2008

Don't worry, only the good die young

The above was what a recently diagnosed bc patient was told. She thought herself young and good so she didn't quite what to make of that. This is in my on-going series of silly things people say to cancer patients.

Still trying to figure out from the school what Naomi is truly up to. What a pain. So for one of her art projects, she is to somehow denote 'transparency' in a metaphor for her life. She has little understanding what transparency means beyond see through. She thought of painting an air balloon because you can be above things and go where you want. I said, no, there are no transparent hot air balloons and you can go where you want only if the currents are going that way too. Otherwise you can only decide when you are coming down. I said it would be easier to paint translucent helium party balloons that are released or a fish bowl. The teacher isn't too helpful. I guess I have to remind the teacher what a language processing disorder is.

I still don't feel so bad though occasionally parts of my scalp will burn and the insides of my mouth are rough as if I had scalded them (but I haven't). I have sadly discovered that chemo has killed some personal part of me.

This too shall pass. I want the days to pass quickly as my stay in chemoland seems unbearably long but then I think these might be my only days I have. TNBC is sometimes so aggressive that mets appear even before chemo is finished. Usually not but if they appear, it is within 3 years. Still the odds are in my favor-even the ones the oncologist showed me vs the ones the surgeon showed me. I need to remind myself statistics only work for the aggregate, not the individual.

My friend Sandy is coming over this afternoon. We worked together many years ago. When I first started work, there weren't many woman scientists but Sandy was there 7 years before me.
She is very bright and outspoken: so out-spoken that many people are afraid of her but she has a heart of gold. In 2005, she was diagnosed with late stage lymphoma and was given a poor prognosis. Fortunately, B cell targetted therapy saved her life. I am looking forward to hearing her insights.

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