Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Xmas from Chemoland

When I had hair-X-mas 12 years ago. The kids are 5, 14, and 17. Spud the pug is only 1. He turned 13 yesterday-my smelly, deaf, geezer pug.

We are awaiting Shanna's family for X-mas to begin. Probably a long wait. Still sad about the time division thing and the attempt to make things 'equal'. It would be more equal if the three other households I am sharing her with were facing a deadly disease and dealing with humiliating, painful, energy-sucking chemo. Plus most of the time, when she is at one household, at least one other household is present. It's sad that I have the short end of the stick because Ramy's parents are divorced. Plus his sister somehow gets an equal share. But our share begins late tonight with just one evening away with his mother. Both his mother and sister gave me the generic-if there's anything I could do. Well I now have a suggestion...share.

Not very Christmasy, huh?

Shanna and Oliver were over for 1 hour yesterday. He is of course, cute and I had looked forward to seeing him so much as one bright spot during chemo. But a very tiny spot.

Brenda stopped over after work with some very tasty goodies and better yet, good company. Jan came over later despite being warned that I would watch"It's a Wonderful Life", which she doesn't like but she toughed it out.

That Dante is back just as I feared but I was hoping he'd wait until after X-mas. But Naomi is happy, for the moment.

It was warm yesterday-41 deg but very slushy and windy. I tried to take a walk to try to slow down my fitness decline but it was so slippery and wet. Already I am becoming winded. It is true that I could barely move right after I broke my arm because for awhile, any wrong move would result in scorching pain but I wasn't winded after 3 weeks of inactivity. This chemo must be doing something really nasty. I was running well only 10 days ago.

And the hair. I had cut it down to about an inch and a half yesterday. Still the remaining hairs managed to form 3 distinct knots that were impossible to run a comb through. More cutting. Just a few tiny hairs remain. And I noticed this morning for the first time, my head isn't the only place is bald. My arms were always covered with dense, fine blonde hair. Gone except a little strip on my left forearm. Chemo patients are warned not to shave as cuts could start impossible to stop bleeding episodes and infection possibilities-though my platelets are fine. So I was starting to get a little hairy. But I looked today-no armpit hair whatsoever. Still some on my legs but it is getting pretty sparse. Someone had written that another area lose's hair too-inside of the nose. So if your nose starts to run, nothing to slow it down. Still have my nose hairs though-along with eyebrows and eyelashes. The latter I want to keep as long as possible. I go to my 'beauty' class Monday but it is really a challenge not to feel like a bloated mutant.

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