New Hair

My new hair

Aside from a year when I was 13 of putting Summer Blonde on my 'dirty blonde' hair, I have never dyed it. It started turning white when I was in my twenties. Premature grayness is linked to the Graves' disease gene but although others in my extended family had Graves', I'm the only one with the early grayness or even late grayness. But it really wasn't gray until after cancer. It was a mix of white, blonde, dirty blonde and light brown.My hair was silky, thick, and straight as straight can be. But in July, it started growing in salt and pepper and curly and it made me look even older than I am. But what to color it? Naomi thought I should go brown as light blonde is too close to gray in her eyes. So now it is dirty blonde. I was hoping for my highlights but I could add them later. The necklace is this silk band I bought on Isola Bella in Italy. Now I need to lose the rest of the weight and may be some plastic surgery and then maybe, I'll be ready to face the world.

Beware of bears!!!

Make sure you read the last paragraph on how to distinguish between grizzly bears and black bears!

It's nice to run in November wearing shorts and a T-shirt and still get hot. I love Indian summer. Today will be nearly the same but I've run so much in the past 3 days, I will lift weights instead.

We had a marathon studying session yesterday afternoon as Naomi (my own little bear) tried to catch up on her schoolwork plus plan a schedule for next term. After almost 5 hours, she was getting more and more frustrated. She did a slightly better job at not taking her frustration out on me but the whole afternoon was a challenge.

Later we went to Josh and Julia's house for a nice dinner. I hadn't seen Julia since I've come back. Sunny, their energetic German Shepherd was happy to see us too. Naomi was in a good mood by the time we got there but took her own car (ours!!)so she could escape lest we become too annoying.

I had a dream last night in which some stranger started speaking to me as if I had cancer. I told her in the dream, How can you tell, I have hair!! Everyone can tell.

Vietato

When I went to Italy the first time, the countryside was covered with little paths with signs in front of them saying
"Vietato Accesso" which I translated as access to paths, which I then proceeded to access. I walked across these paths many times and noone ever stopped me to remind me that I was on private property and my presence wasn't welcomed.

However on this trip, I kept seeing the word "vietato" and it occurred to me that maybe it doesn't mean cute little walking trail but FORBIDDEN. I saw these signs around the train tracks especially as in VIETATO! Don't cross the tracks!

Oh well.

It is warming up here. A good day for a run.

Grandbabies

The boys were monkeys for Halloween






The boys together
Oliver in 21 months: Daniel is 10 weeks

We had a hard frost last night that probably did in my flowers. They have survived temps as low as 25 deg but 20 deg is too much for them. But it was calm so I felt comfy running my 7 miles out in the country. I will carve a body out of this block o'flab yet. I ran a little faster than the other day so maybe I'm improving.

Naomi came over in a more reasonable mood (plus she really wanted those dishes). She is thrilled that I am doing something about my hair FINALLY and quickly found haircolors and styles she thinks I should have. She's annoyed that my appointment is during her classtime and is considering calling my stylist begging her not to let me be light blond as that would be too close to what I used to have. She has always been embarassed to have an older mom. I think I'd be more embarassed to have a teenage mom but go figure. The girlfriend of Dontae's friend has moved in with them now. She's 5 months pregnant. Not sure what will happen when the baby is born. Still no furniture in the place. They sit on the mattress to eat. I asked if they'd prefer a bed frame or a kitchen table for X-mas. Of course she'd like both.

Sue's Escape from Difficult Child Land

One of these doggies is different-Look for the red hair.

But there is no escape although technically the child is now an adult at 18. I had just bought a few items from IKEA for her very bare apartment. I came home to a letter from the school from her teacher wondering why she was 'not participating' in the class. So things are not 'fine' as I had been told. She shortly shows up 'to get HER stuff' and I ask about the letter. She went into a tirade about me (though I wasn't the one who openned it)going through her mail and sped off (in my car)without my presents.

So do I let her dig herself into a hole of poverty and ignorance that will be impossible to get out of and just close the door when she comes for help? Part of me wants to teach her a lesson but I know what the result will be.

Harder than cancer she is to deal with.

As for myself, I did make an appointment to deal with my hair. I am running a lot but I am not losing weight. I am definitely firmer with better muscle tone but there is just too much of me to love. Must make changes.

all clear

No sign of cancer! Woo-hoo!



Imagine me as the one hugging the toilet and the cat on my back as the radiation technician...

After numerous retakes and additional magnifications, it was decided finally that I was fine. But after the first set of images and when she said they needed additional films, I started to panic as it sounded too familiar to the day I was originally diagnosed. And the technician, polite and professional as she was, was very difficult to read. When she went to get me for a third time, she had such a grim face on, I feared the worst but all was fine. Even though I received good news, I am still trying to recover from my fear at the thought: it came back. So they were looking for 'local recurrences'. If they had found one, it would mean repeat everything except for the radiation. A mastectomy would be the treatment and a drug other than the red devil would be used as I had the lifetime allotment already. At UM, they don't look for distal recurrences unless you have symptoms or if you were node positive. At this stage, the amount of false negatives and false positives would make most screens not useful. Worrisome symptoms: unexplained cough/shortness of breath(lung mets?) jaundice/ digestive issues(liver mets?) bone pain (bone mets) headache or weird CNS symptoms (brain mets-but I did get a sneak peak at my brain-looks fine to me). As time goes on, less worry. For now, I see someone every 3 months.

I didn't sleep well last night with the what-ifs. I did have an amusing dream in which my hair was green and everyone kept insisting I had did this somehow. No it just grew that way. I am considering coloring it though-not green. Brown with blonde highlights or light blonde. This salt and pepper can-fro isn't doing it for me. I did get a nice run in before my 3 hour adventure at the cancer center and my friend lent me her car so I didn't have to run there though it would have been a nice downhill run into the river valley, I'd be a tad sweaty.

Don't sleep with the light on...

You don't need to swallow that nightlight. Just turn it off

There are many behaviors linked to breast cancer but here is a new one..incandescent lighting. Apparently the blue wavelengths associated with it suppress melatonin, which in turn is a tumor suppressor. Computer screens also suppress melatonin. Apparently women who routinely work night shifts and are thus exposed to artificial light have higher cancer rates. Conversely, the rate of BC in blind women is low (and they have high rates of melatonin). All here in the following:http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/02/19/AR2008021902398.html

Tomorrow I go for my mammogram and follow-up with the radiation onc. I have a bit of 'scanxiety'. My original tumor(s) could not be felt. Who knows what has sprung up in there? My husband will have the remaining car we have being an election official. I guess I could run to the hospital or have my house guest wake up to take me...

Yesterday, though cool, was actually quite pretty.We still have maybe 25% of our leaves here in "Tree Town"-Ann Arbor's nick-name though less apt since the mountain ash borer invasion. I had a nice run and later walked through the Arb with Steve. I also did just a bit of gardening. I still have some stuff in bloom: cosmos-one plant is over 10 feet tall and English daisies. My house guest later returned from her travels.