Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Tempus Fugit

It is already June. Time seems to be flying by as opposed to when I was in chemoland and the hours slowly..slowly passed. I still have trouble sleeping at night. I go into another room and try to read or do puzzles. I hate the night and eagerly await the morning. I obsess about things too much. Most of the things that I have wasted time worrying about have come and gone. I do sweat the small stuff, which I am trying not to do. There is some big stuff too.

I have heard that if you have mets, you would know it. The triple positive (this term doesn't seem to be used) woman I met the other day with distal mets went 9 years with no symptoms. One day she lost her voice. After much investigation, it turned out a lung met had impinged on a nerve going to her vocal chords. Various scans revealed tumors in her bones, lungs and brain. Some of the tumors have been controlled by Zometa and Herceptin, whole brain radiation and surgery. She never felt pain from the bone mets (which are still present but not increasing). The idea that cancer cells can be silently gathering strength in my body creeps me out. But they will presumably rear their ugliness sooner than later-no nine or ten years of slowly growing for triple negative. After 4 years or so, my chances of mets goes way down below that of the estrogen positives. But honestly, I don't think of it that much-just occasionally in the middle of the night.
What does take up my thoughts....NAOMI. What is going to happen to her and Maya. What indeed and what do I need to do?

At the last minute, the weather service cancelled our 'deadly storm' which morphed into an ordinary thunderstorm ending an 8 day drought. I did have to go out in it yet again to rescue a friend who locked her keys in her car for the 2nd time in 2 weeks.

Our family BBQ became an indoor dinner at Josh's. There is a chihuahua pup a few doors down that discovered Dakota and the two had fun rollicking around. Dakota at 6 pounds looks huge to its probable 2 pounds. But next to Sunny, at 80 lbs, Dakota is tiny. Sunny's tail knocked her down. It was a nice dinner and no big issues arose. Naomi and Dontae had been staying there for the last 2 days watching the dogs.

There was a marathon session of "Hoarders' yesterday. I've had to deal with too many of these in my life. Just want to slap them. Other obsessions can be dealt with with SRIs but hoarding takes a different path.

On my flag counter below, I scored a new country yesterday-Guernsey. I didn't realize that was a separate country. In the 2 months or so, I am up to 42 different countries. On my master list, 95. I am such a nerd.


Teri Bernstein said...

Did you read that rather awful but popular little book The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society ? My book club read it and that was when I first became aware of Guernsey as some sort of separate entity.
But yes, Naomi...I am just praying, "Calm baby, calm baby, calm baby...healthy baby, strong baby, calm baby"

Sue in Italia/In the Land Of Cancer said...

Nope, never heard of it. I know that Guernsey and Jersey are islands that they named cattle after. I assumed they were part of the UK. When my Welsh friend writes, I get the UK flag but this Guernsey flag is quite unique.
Naomi especially needs a calm baby. She was an especially crabby baby-not collicky but just hard to soothe.
What will this little one look like?


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