Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Mammogram anxiety

Steve and I have opposing philosophies:

His: If it hasn't happened; it won't happen.

Mine: If it has happened once, it will happen again.

Lightning does indeed strike twice or sometimes many times. Even houses  in our neighborhood were struck twice in one year causing devastating fires even though they weren't likely targets.

Next week is the dreaded mammogram. Now the reality is that I am maybe only 50% more likely to have a bad mammogram than the average woman. Chances are, it will be clean. Chances are that I am more likely to have a new primary than a recurrence at this point. And mammograms do not detect what everyone fears the most: mets. But still I dread the day. It will bring back the day 5 years ago that everything changed, a dividing day with relative content on one side and supreme fear on the other.

And to make things more annoying, according to the reminder I got in the mail, it is a diagnostic mammogram versus the screening one I swear I was promised by my onc last year as it is 5 years out. What's the difference? A thousand bucks. Screening mammograms are covered by my insurance; diagnostic are not (not until a high deductible is met). I made a phone call a few days ago to straighten this out. They haven't gotten back to me yet.

A pretty, sunny day here though it is cold. I ran in the morning and had my Livestrong class in the afternoon. I did weights. Then dynamic balance exercises with the group. Try standing on one leg with your eyes closed....

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