Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Par-a noi-a will Destroy-ya

So all of a sudden I've become very popular according to Statcounter. I received numerous hits from various places in the Far East-alot from Indonesia but also Japan and Taiwan yesterday. Sometimes I can see why a person got on my blog-the people interested in triple negatives are obvious. Either they did a search or they got on from a link from others' blogs. When I had written about the earthquake, I got many hits from around the world. There must be many people interested in the movie "Flipped" also. But I could see no unifying theme to these hits yesterday so I assume it's some strange virus.

Also, targeted ads bother me. I must have been whining about my hair in an e-mail and suddenly an ad appears for some kind of hair restorer. Hmmmm. I don't like the idea of something scanning my words for something to exploit. I guess there is no free lunch. Something has to be gained by offering free blogs and e-mail.

Of course the biggest source of paranoia comes from within: my body. What does this and this mean? As I was doing my long run last week, my chest began to really hurt over my right breast area (the bad area). Otherwise I was feeling well-slow steady breathing, legs had energy, etc. Was I having a heart attack ?(that would be the left side but presumably in women, the pain could appear anywhere)I was not profusely sweating and felt good otherwise. This breast pain comes and goes. According to Susan Love, radiation causes inflammation of the pectoral muscle and as it regenerates 3 to 6 months later, pain can be felt so maybe that is it. My scar feels bumpy, stiff and somewhat painful. If something was growing right underneath it, the most likely place, how would I know? I did bring this up to the radiologist onc CNP while I was trying to have them justify in writing my treatment for the insurance company (letter allegedly in transit) and was told that all my symptoms were 'normal' especially as I had the 'hypofractionated treatment" (more rads in less time).

The site head of my former company, a man I happen to like and respect even though his out-of state bosses I could live without, is starting a 'green chemistry' initiative research institute (I assume on the company's former land)and wondered, through another former employee who has contacted me whether I would be interested in exploring this. I don't know, maybe someday.

1 comment:

Sara Williams said...

Sue,
It is really hard not to become paranoid after what you/we have been through. My scar is also bumpy and my under arm is still numb and occasionally sore and my left breast has been hurting. Like you I have been wondering oh no is it in the other one now. All I will say is that we are the lucky ones - we have fought cancer and won but because of that, the medics keep a close eye on us.... there are those among us who are walking time bombs!

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