Sunday, March 1, 2009

I hate taxol

More pictures from senior night, two of which are from the AA News Website. Steve took the one of the 4 seniors plus a teammate who graduated last year. The bottom picture of Naomi bumping bellies with Jasmine as she was being introduced as a starter was in the paper yesterday. I didn't even notice it but Naomi's boyfriend called her to alert her to it. I guess it's a good sign that he reads the papers or at least thumbs through the sports sections. She doesn't want him at the games as he is some former bball star and would be too critical if she screws up.
Later as I was flipping through the TV channels, I stopped when I saw my daughter's face in the center of the TV screen, community access had filmed one of her games apparently.
Steve accessed our cell bill. She spent 3000 minutes last month talking to this boyfriend-mostly late at night. Aaargh.
Further aargh: I got a notice for jury duty for circuit court. As I still am dealing with chemo and radiation, I need a doctor's note to excuse me and they want it NOW so more phone calls. I never have been asked to do circuit court (major cases) just district court (minor cases). Washtenaw County is divided into two districts: Ann Arbor and non-Ann Arbor. I was living in one of the outside townships (still in the school district) when I was on the district court roster so I needed to travel from court house to courthouse for 2 weeks. Mainly I was excused from every panel and I always wanted to ask why I was rejected. Finally I was empanelled for a violent resistance of arrest case as the only female juror. I was immediately nominated as the foreman as my fellow jurors wanted to see what they would call me but when the major moment arrived, they just asked, who speaks for the jury? It was interesting with some ethical issues arising. One of the jurors told us he knew the whole family that the defendant came from and they all were evil. Why didn't this guy excuse himself? He now poisoned us and I should have went to the judge but I thought the guy was guilty before this. Another juror pointed out how unfair that was as he, himself, had a criminal brother and he would have hated to be judged by that. I remembered the last name of the defendant and over the years, his family members have been involved in all sorts of evil.
Steve served on a circuit court jury a few years ago on a much more interesting case. He ended up on national TV (Cold Case Files) as his jury convicted the guy despite seemily weak evidence for a murder that occurred 40 years ago. Advances in DNA technology made it possible to use DNA found on the victim to be screened against a database of felons and they had two hits: one against the suspect tried and ultimately convicted and another for a felon who would have been 4 years old at the time of the murder. The latter really compromised the case. During that time, there was a serial murderer operating in Ann Arbor and Ypsi speciallizing in killing and torturing co-eds who was ultimately convicted of killing at least one of them. The MO of Steve's victim was completely different from the others leading some to think there was a second killer, Steve's guy. The whole murder episode had alot of press and was scary because I was planning to go to UM though the main murderer was caught right before I was a freshman. Steve was completely ignorant of the case as he grew up in NY and pointedly does not read local news stories unless they are about Naomi. I am not saying any names as this case is still on appeal and again I am subverting google.
Anyway, being on Taxol is no fun even though I realize that it may save my life. It is much more effective against preventing mets for us estrogen negative ladies than the positive ladies. During the day, my pains seemed to be minor. Indeed I went for a long walk covering 10% more distance in the same amount of time. At night however, all I could feel were my muscle aches and very sore feet and I could not sleep. I finally went back to the drugs. I was having a major pity party-poor me in so much pain, neglected by friends, bald, tired, could die a painful death despite chemo blah, blah, blah. It really is hard to be positive. I know I need to count my blessings and ignore that 25% figure of doom but sometimes it is hard, especially when I am in pain. Sometimes I sound like Nancy Kerrigan with her infamous wail, "why me?" after Tonya Harding arranged to have her knee-capped. Why me? indeed.

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