Friday, September 20, 2013

Orchids versus dandelions

 Are you an orchid or a dandelion? Chances are you are a dandelion (70% of caucasians). You will thrive anywhere with a minimum of attention. Even if you are pulled out, one little root hair left behind will be enough for you to come back. Crappy childhood? Really bad or clueless parents? Doesn't matter, you will survive and do well as you can adapt to almost anything. I know so many dandelions who had Oprah book childhoods that make you gasp OMG! But they grew up to be productive, happy people.

But the orchids have to be raised carefully or they will not thrive. Instead of a brilliant flower, they will be anxiety prone, depressed people incapable of useful planning. They will not know how to make themselves happy over the long haul.

This is not my theory though I think a lot of it makes sense. It has many names besides the orchids/dandelions. The most common one is The Vulnerability theory. There are a series of genes that make 30% of people vulnerable to how they are raised. One of the many papers that discusses this

As most parents and even as children, I am interested in the nature versus nurture contributions to who we are and to whom we raise. This theory suggests that for most people, it is nature; but for the 'orchids' nurture.

So how do you tell if you have a budding orchid or dandelion. Apparently as toddlers, orchids are especially prone to tantrums, throwing things, being unco-operative, willful, impulsive, etc.But if these orchids are treated correctly, they will out-shine the dandelions in time. But how? One suggestion was to read to them even if they are too antsy to sit still. Other useful advice was hard to come by. No mention on what to do if your orchid is well beyond toddlerhood.

Julie is now 39 weeks pregnant. She has increasing signs that baby girl is soon to arrive. This is the last day she will go to her office to work. Until the baby is born, she will work from home.

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