Diet

I decided to weigh myself only once a week so I wouldn't go crazy. Although I've lost 10 lbs and am much firmer since I finished treatment, I still have a long ways to go. I didn't lose any weight this week which should be no surprise given graduation parties and dinner, which included a weekend of mindless noshing but I was still disappointed. Aside from the pain of looking at the mirror, there is a big difference in recurrence rates for TNBC for the obese vs the non-obese, which doesn't make sense to me. Fat produces estrogen so I could understand how excess fat cells could fuel estrogen dependent cancer cells. The insulin theory makes more sense-the obese in general have diets that cause insulin spikes-insulin is allegedly a tumor promoter. Exercise cuts down on insulin levels-I have to think that I exercise way more than the average fat person. At any rate, I am attempting to eat foods with lower glycemic indices.

I am up to 6.3 miles so more of my route is out in the country and I can go hatless. I see more and more deer than I used to. The Y ladies think my body has changed alot and can see the muscles under my fat veneer. I am to apply today for a scholarship to continue there as the LiveStrong program ends next week. I am to include our 2008 tax return, which makes us look quite wealthy but it is a result of Steve's big severance check, which was a one time thing.

I searched the phrase "Aetna Sucks" in Blogsearch to see if my entry shows up. Indeed it does but here's a shocker, it has appeared in numerous others' blogs including an entire blog totally devoted to the subject. Lots of sleaziness on Aetna's part going on. Note to Aetna: If you really want to save money, instead of chiselling cancer patients, perhaps you could consider instead reducing your CEO's package of TWENTY-FOUR MILLION DOLLARS. I have never understood the economics of executive compensation and bonuses. Is this guy (Ron Williams) worth that much? Why do companies pay bonuses to people whose reign has contributed to their companies' downfall? I have to think that this system of paying executives excessive amounts of money to screw up the company put the country in this crappy situation in the first place. These packages seem to be approved by Board members who sit on each other's boards ensuring for themselves fat paychecks.

As for the phrase 'Aetna sucks 'or the usual 'Cancer sucks', I remember reading in another BC patient's blog how much she hates that phrase. First she objected to its grammar, using a transitive verb as an intransitive verb (Sucks what?). She then pointed out that the phrase reminded her of something an inarticulate, crabby teenager would say. Finally she said it made the person sound like a bitter, unhappy person and she wasn't that person. I guess my chemo addled brain couldn't come up with anything more creative than 'Aetna sucks' to describe the incredibly frustrating experience of them arbitarily deciding that I had too much radiation. One of my fellow frustrated people had them deny all claims as her provider was not 'in-plan' despite the provider's name being on their website as an approved provider. When she sent physical evidence that the name was indeed on their website, she was told-Oh that's not up to date. You should have called-the provider did not renew her contract with us. A year later, the website still was not up-dated.

In the Wall Street Journal yesterday, they wrote about a study concluding that the uncertainity of knowing whether you had a potentially fatal condition was more upsetting than knowing you had a potentially fatal condition, which describes the hell we all felt when we were told that our lesion 'may be cancer' but it was going to take a while to find out. I ran into a wife of a former colleage at the Wellness Center yesterday for the nutrition class that Marilyn and I attended. She chose to be treated for her ovarian cancer very far away as the 2 centers here were going to make her wait more than a month to deal with her steadily growing tumor. They had told her the wait wouldn't make any difference. Well no difference to them, but I was going crazy with worry!!! I hadn't seen this woman in 12 years but I had by some miracle remembered her unusual name. (generally I am very bad at names-in one ear:out the other)

The class was about cooking with soy, a contraversial subject for most with breast cancer as soy behaves as a weak estrogen. Shouldn't be a problem for us with TNBC. The class showed how to make several tasty dishes. How to get protein without the baggage that animal protein carries.

Marilyn shared with me some irises which I planted last night. It is past iris season here so I will have to wait a year to see the results. In a few weeks, my little garden will be abloom with more cosmos and all my lilies.