Sunday, February 1, 2009

White stripes

The Red Devil destroys all fast growing cells-mucus membranes, oil glands, hair follicules, hopefully cancer cells, new red and white blood cells and presumably finger nails. However my nails had been looking pretty good and have been growing at a steady rate. Dr. Henry was admiring my healthy nailbeds and told me that since they survived A, I should be able to finish chemo with a nice set of nails. However today I noticed dead zones on all of them in the form of a white stripe 2mm thick. Healthy nails are below and above the stripe. Some of my blogging TNBC buds have nails falling off with gross, painful infections. I was hoping to avoid that.

My muscle aches have gone down quite a bit so I stopped the vicodin except to go to sleep. The bottom of my feet are very painful as if I had walked miles and miles. It's been almost 3 weeks since my last red devil treatment but I still have periods of queasiness.

60 days down, 52 days to go. Time continues to slowly tick by. I look forward to life outside my painful, cold sphere. Most of my friends are now gone or too busy to visit. I took another long walk even though it was cold and windy (it is above freezing right now-joy, joy). Josh came over with updates on his life. We were watching an ice skating exhibition on TV to see one of his close buddy's little brother skate in ice dancing. He and his partner were the juinor national champions. I remember Evan as a cute little toddler watching his big brother play soccer with Josh and now he is on national TV.

I have contacted my film professoressa Elena for some suitable Italian movies to cheer me up. She immediately supplied a long list and mentionned she was organizing an Italian film festival at the end of March in Ann Arbor. So Nancy, if you are reading this, you have to come. I really admire Elena.

Nights continue to be the worse. I am so tired but all the aches and pains that I manage to ignore during the day make sleep impossible. I kicked Steve out again. He must have the patience of Job to put up with me. I had him try to rehydrate my scaly skin yesterday as I can not reach everywhere. He hates having greasy hands.

Had a nice talk with Shanna today. I was hurt yesterday when she didn't return my call but Oliver had put her cell in a glass of coke cutting her off until they could dry out the components.


Anonymous said...

I am so sorry you are feeling so rough. I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you across this "bloggosphere." It's good you can go for walks. Walks are good. Sometimes I couldn't think of anything to do *but* walk and breathe. (I'm not sure how I'm going to show up on this comment, so I'll put my contact info here: A Rural Woman's Breast Cancer Journal

Anonymous said...

Hi Sue,
Just wanted to let you know I'm keeping up with you and thinking of you. It can all be so crazy, I know.
Hugs, Kathy

Sue in Italia/In the Land Of Cancer said...

Hi Arnica
I've been reading your website off and on for the past 2 weeks and actually have mentionned you in my blog. I am impressed by how well you research your topics. I guess you must have found me accidentally or in blogsearch where I found you. It is interesting for me to read of cancer warriors past treatment. I will continue to read your blog. You have some interesting insights.
I tried to post a comment on your website but it didn't let me do it.

Anonymous said...

Hi Sue, I'm sorry that you weren't able to post to my blog. I've been trying to do a better job of checking my email for notices that there are comments waiting for moderation. So please feel free to try again. Sometimes I'm off line for a week or two when I'm out of town, but eventually I will see them. Thanks for following - it does me good to know I'm a part of a larger group of women.

S. F. Heron said...

Mine aren't stripes but rather dents running left to right across my nails. I've got 4 of them - guess the first 2 session didn't beat my nails to hell. Just one black spot on my right thumb nail - looks like I bashed it with a hammer :) It's all quite a fashion statement.

Hugs heading your way. I'm not going to go cliche on you but rather remind you that you can do this.



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