The Mom's group

I stopped by Brenda's on the way to Jo's in Chelsea. For the last few times I've been there, there have been a few deer in the yard cautiously eyeing me and then bolting if I make a sudden move. Have to be very careful driving around there as the deer are especially crazy during 'the rut'. Her sister was there along with her niece-Naomi's age, her son and his wife and the 3 grandkids. Matthew is now 6 weeks but very tiny. He finally opened his eyes so that I could see them. Naomi's niece loved 'Twilight' both the book and the movie. Naomi was especially disappointed in the Bella character as she wasn't what she pictured. Of course I didn't think Keira Knightley deserved to be Elizabeth in the remake of "Pride and Prejudice"-my Elizabeth would never inanely giggle and the Darcy character paled in comparison to Colin Firth's portrayal-the real Darcy. But I am glad that now Naomi is capable of visualizing how a character should be.
On to Jo's. When I am in the car alone for any length of time, I have my Italian tapes on so I can remember at least how it sounds and some of the vocabulary. If I survive this mess, I definitely would like to go back to Italy. Deb hosted our dinner even though it was at Jo's bringing all her Asian dinnerware and accessories. Cute little soy sauce containers shaped like various animals. She made a variety of sushi and had lots of little Japanese yummies. Jo made Mojitos-not very Japanese but way tastier than sake. Jo's boyfriend Jim had his 2nd set of twin niece and nephews. The first set is only 18 months plus there is a single 3 year old. So 5 babies. Must be fun strapping them all in their carseats. Jo has her own set of grand-niece twins she is visiting today. So per usual, we covered a wide variety of subjects-favorite books-dysfunctional childhoods-Jo lived the Oprah book of childhoods-our lives intersecting for a brief time in Southfield when our best friends were sisters but I don't remember her. She is 3 years younger. But what doesn't kill you, makes you strong and Jo is a survivor. She will go to Kenya for a church mission in a couple of months, then go on a safari. Deb has her own trips planned-though all on this continent and I will be in chemoland.
I go home to troubled dreams. In some dreams I am me but then I am outside watching myself. I think I am surviving this by not thinking it is real what is happening to me. When I go in for a procedure, they always ask me why I am there and what will be done to me and I have to repeat for the umpteenth time that I have cancer of the right breast and am here today to have the tumor removed. This is to make sure that I am not Jane Doe with the gallstones that need to be removed.
Before I ran my first marathon, I was warned about the mythical 'wall' I would hit at the 20 mile mark. I would say to myself-bring it on-let's see how hard it is. I didn't hit it physically but sometimes there was a huge mental effort to keep going. Of course-no one put a gun to my head to run and I could always stop and catch a ride to the finish. I would have hated myself. But the whole thing lasted less than 4 hours and only maybe an hour or less of talking myself into keeping going. But now the stakes are much higher than mere bragging rights and there is no ride to the finish. Also 4 months of chemo land. Maybe I can just sleep through the whole thing.

A record cold today-8 degrees. Fortunately it was sunny and quickly climbed to the 20s so I could run on dry pavement. Tomorrow it will snow and I won't have much time between all my tests. Shanna called. Cute Oliver is doing fine and now can clap hands making noise on command. While he was here, he would clap with his fists closed and miss hitting his other hand half the time. Apparently clapping hands is a complicated motor skill. I will see him in less than a month so that is one bright light.