Good news

Late yesterday afternoon, Dr. Diehl called to say that all the microcalcifications removed were benign including that patch that one radiologist thought was early cancer 9 years ago. Calcifications can be a sign of cancer and their presence makes the tumor visible by x-ray but calcifications could be a sign of inflammation also. On that mammogram I got last week, it looked like the milky way, there were so many calcs-basically a strip an inch thick and 4-5 inches long and she wondered why I burst into tears when she said that they could be cancer. She then said I had to come in when I was healed to see if they indeed are all gone. As there was so many, I think I probably still have some but if the ones removed were benign, shouldn't the ones left be benign too? One could argue that, she said but most radiologists want them gone before they begin treatment. So the next step is me meeting with an oncologist Monday-do I have a preference for a woman or a man? Hayes or Henry? I said I would prefer one that is most likely to let me have some input for my treatment-for instance, I really would like to avoid Adriamycin which seems like overkill for my particular situation and I do have literature with regimes for triple negative cancer that are as successful, if not more so and they aren't from the Journal of Wishful Thinking. She said she'd see what she could do.
As for my wound-it is much longer than before and my breast is quite a bit smaller even with the swelling and lop-sided. I am not as bruised as the first time and the wound seems to be healing but I still have pain and I am very tired and feel dizzy when I get up. Steve was so hell-bent on going for his 2.5 hour running routine (he went inside when it was really nice outside), I was stuck behind. Taking a shower when I am dizzy is dicey though I did it anyway. I couldn't swaddle myself when I finished. I hate being so helpless. I have trouble reaching things and can't even let the dog out as he has step phobia now and needs to be carried. By the time he came back, it was too late to vote as he needed to take Naomi to Dexter right after school. I was feeling sorry for myself.
Josh did come over around lunch (he works 4 days a week). Later Steve and I did go for a walk after I got the 'good news'. It was nice outside and I was able to sit among my few flowers that survived the bad frost. Karen came over later with wine but it knocked me out even though I am not on medication. Also my hot flashes have been increasing. I threw away the Prem-Pro as soon as I found out about the tumor-one is supposed to gradually wean oneself from it but I didn't want to feed my tumor though I didn't know for a while that it is not hormone sensitive. I slept very fitfully as I keep rolling over onto my sore breast and I kept hearing Spud pace around as Steve never remembers to let him out. I kept having dreams about having to catch a series of trains and barely getting on at the right time.