Cancer platitudes

· “You could step off the curb tomorrow and get hit by a bus” (not a good analogy, its like I already got hit by the bus and now its backing up over me)
· “You gotta think positively” (ok, I’m positive I had cancer, and I’m positive it wasn’t fun)
· “You’ll be fine”
· “So, you’re fine now right?”
· “My grandmom died of that”
· “nice fro”
· “God gives you what you can handle”
· “What’s your prognosis”
· “Can I see what is going on under that hat?”
· “If anyone can beat it it’s you”
· “If it’s not your time, it’s not your time” (then why bother with the surgery and treatment?)
· “Life is not fair” (thanks for the heads up)
· “Every cloud has a silver lining”
· “Its just a bump in the road” (living with a cancer diagnoses, losing your hair, getting chemo, radiation, gaining weight, having hot flashes, being depressed and anxious is not a bump in the road its a major mountain.)
· “Don’t worry”
· “Your lucky you didn’t lose weight on chemo”
· ‘Remember Lance”
· “You gotta be like Lance”
· “Lance beat cancer”
· “Just look at Lance”
· “Just think, you’re done” (done? I’m done?…I guess I’m done with cancer everyone. Nothing left to do. How about hormonal therapy, all the side effects, more boob surgery and worrying for the rest of my life about recurrence)
· “You look good bald”
· “So, was the cancer bad?” (no, I had the good kind)
· “This is a treatable disease”
· “You have a nice shaped head”
· “How do you know if it’s working?” (I die, if it didn’t work)
· “You know you can eat more curry, its supposed to kill cancer cells” (great tip, thanks)
· “You’ll be fine, you have a great attitude” (If attitude really matters then why did I get cancer in the first place? Or does attitude only matter after you get cancer? right now my attitude about cancer is lousy. what does that mean?)
· “If you really want to live, you will. Just never give up. when people give up, they die”
· “Don’t worry, your hair will grow back”

The above is a collection I gleaned from cyberspace (http://ruralwomen.wordpress.com/) from this woman living 2.5 hours from any treatment center in Colorado. She has survived TNBC and now is on a mission to educate patients isolated by geography and lack of family. The internet is their lifeline.

Yesterday was a lazy day. Too cold for me to go out and exercise. I still have periods of queasiness but still they seem to be diminishing. Taxol rarely causes nausea but apparently does a number on one's taste buds according to my breast cancer blogging sisters on it. I did eat some chocolate the other day and enjoyed it. Moms take turns bringing dinner to the girls for away games. I was holding this homemade brownie/cupcake for Naomi and tasted it and ended up gobbling it down. Naomi used my cancer card to get another for herself. Three away games next week. Hopefully I can see them if I don't react badly to taxol Tuesday. Naomi went to a EMU game with the team to sell raffle tickets. She rarely has a day off. Even if they aren't practicing, they are all together and Coach Steve sends a constant barage of text messages when they aren't together. Josh came over and brought us lunch.

Last night we finally had our mom's group as we had a rare break from snowstorms. Our group of 5 moms got together more than 29 years ago with our little babies that were born the summer and fall of 1979. Collectively we have 10 children and 4 grandchildren. It has been fun watching these little seal babies morph into adults. At our first meeting, all the babies could do was lie on their bellies and lift their wobbly, bald heads to take in each other. I usually make the dessert but I had no energy and sent Steve out to buy one. We also drink alot but I can't do that. Next month, three of them are off to Kenya, Jaimaca, and a Caribbean cruise. I will be in cold, lonely chemoland. Jo had cleaned out her bookshelves so now we all have plenty of reading material. I need to plot my own escape from my current situation. It is such a struggle for me not to throw pity parties one right after another.