Monday, January 12, 2009

The Black Spot

Now that I am nearly bald, I can see a scary black spot about 5 mm across in front of my ear. I didn't notice it until yesterday. I don't like to stare at my bald self for too long and this spot is usually covered by my eyeglasses stem. I do have a variety of light brown freckles all over my body but none this dark. So my first thought-melanoma- even though this area has not been exposed to the sun. I'll see what the oncologist thinks tomorrow. Meanwhile I'll read up on melanoma chemo. Hopefully my poisons will work on it too, if that's what it is. It is of one color, absolutely flat and there is no bleeding-all of which argue against melanoma. Probably just a birthmark that I've always had but I haven't been bald since I was a few months old and noone is alive who would have seen it. In all my very early pictures, I am wearing bonnets.

Very cold out and I am antsy to get moving before chemo.

Josh's job is very shaky no thanks to the economy. He should know his fate by the end of the week.

Decisions will be made about Naomi and school today.

A mom came over to visit last night and I tried to share some wine with her but have completely lost my taste for it. Not good for me anyway but the poisons should be at a low level now. The effects of them remain, however. No hair on my legs whatsoever even though it's been 6 weeks since I shaved. They don't feel nice as they would have after a shave. My skin is all rough and scaly, which is completely new. No working oil glands whatsoever. I am becoming paler and paler. I have vague burning sensations up and down my digestive tract beginning with my burning lips. My eyes burn. I spend more of my life asleep. Today is Day 42 in chemoland, it has seemed even longer but even more depressing is the 70 days I have left. Tomorrow is the last of the Red Devil. The way things have been going is that the rest of the week will be tough but hopefully in a week, the effects will ease up and then it's on to Taxol, which most people swear up and down is so much easier. I really, really hope so.

1 comment:

Kathy said...

Hi Sue. Congrats on almost being done with A.

Oh - this might make you laugh ironically - the "word verification" I have to type for this comment is "mykure." Seriously?!

Best wishes & hugs,
Kathy

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