Frigid!

It is so cold now! Minus 12 and even colder earlier. I awoke in a panic as it was light out and I hadn't heard the usual racket Naomi makes in the morning. The bus comes by at 6:50 am. I found her in her bed but she said school was cancelled. If it is near zero, Spud's paw pads freeze and he just sits down in the snow waiting death rather than walk. It is sunny out-hopefully I can get him out so he can at least pee. He keeps pacing.

Yesterday was hard. You'd think I'd get the routine down by now balancing the poisons. The anti-nausea meds cause dizziness and sleepiness. Steroids cause headaches and restlessness. I stick with the Prilosec to prevent heartburn-so far so good and the Emend. The latter cost $500 for a 3 day supply. The Neulasta is $6000/dose. One could buy 3 cars with what I'll go through Chemoland with Neulasta alone. What do people do without insurance? The most common side effect with Neulasta is bone pain-it stimulates the bone marrow to produce white blood cells. It works. My neck bones hurt the next day after the shot (administered by Steve in my belly) but that's it. People who don't take Neulasta on chemo are at great risk for infections and often end up in the emergency room. The dose dense regimen I am on would be too dangerous without it otherwise my body would need time to recover between doses and the cancer would get a chance too. But I was queasy, depressed, lonely, and bored most of yesterday and the very frigid weather isn't helping.

So far I feel a little bit better today. I might try the cancer yoga class later today if it hasn't been cancelled and the big crosstown rivalry bball game is tonight that presumably is still on. I keep telling myself that this is the hardest week and once I get past it, let the healing begin.