Friday, April 15, 2016

If only.....

This is a mold of my teeth containing the fake teeth I've been sporting for the past month. Got my new front teeth yesterday. Now I can eat apples and caramels. Strangely I was the only one who ever asked for this souvenir

When the setting sun hits part of my glass collection, it looks pretty
new glass pumpkin glowing
cool Mexican plate

Back in the Land of Cancer seven years or so ago, one would find me up at night obsessing over my possible death. Yeah the odds were in my favor but the 30 % chance of an early, painful death kept me up. In the support group, the moderator asked if I found losing my hair the most devastating aspect of cancer. Nope...that was just the cherry on top of a sh*t sundae.
If only I didn't have this, I would be so happy kept cycling through my brain. At some point the fear of distal mets, which come sooner than later in TNBC, was replaced with non-Cancerland worries like how to deal with a teenage pregnancy of an especially immature potential mother. Back to the if only late night show.
A bit of progress has been made on that front though the greatest issues have yet to be addressed. Some problems seem unfixable.This is all I will say about it.
As for a minor if only in the general scheme of things such as the face plant I made in the middle of the PCH early February, I got the last bit of work done yesterday as my flimsy, composite fake teeth were replaced by porcelain fake teeth. The dentist's advice, next time I fall, protect the face. If only I was aware I was falling. The teeth are better than what they replaced as one of the teeth had been chipped in a previous fall. Still my lip is somewhat swollen and numb though the area seems to get smaller. And I am not sure the scars will fade to nothing. And the bills keep coming If only I had decided to see the elephant seals at Ano Nuevo that day....
Spring is here for at least a week and then some. I still needed to wear the ecologically unsound furry pants to run as the sun rose as there was frost all around but in the afternoon after a very long dental appointment, it was warm enough for bicycling shorts so off I went. Physical exercise is such a balm for me. I will do that 6 day ride with a friend in 3 month though in a less hilly section of the state than the past 4 years.  Having winter in April had really messed up my training schedule but now it looks like the snows have stopped.
There was a painting I really wanted at the resale shop but a week later, it was gone. Snooze you lose. I did buy a few things but I am really cutting back, really. Soon it will be planting season to distract me. Some varmint is eating my tulips. Rabbits? Deer?
Oliver got in to the gifted and talented program in his district. They only admit the top 5%. He is so easily bored but perhaps now he will be  challenged. Downside: her kids will be in 3 different schools next year.
Maya's first soccer game will be tomorrow on the other side of Ann Arbor. She is a very coordinated kid but does not follow instructions very well. On the weekends, she lives with 3 kids, one of whom is her age. This little girl is considerably more focused and also on the team. Hopefully it will rub off on Maya. I've had the two girls run around my yard. They both can run like the wind


Elephant's Child said...

I always go to dark places in what I call the '3am horrors'.
Yay for teeth. And spring.

Paula Kaye said...

Love those pieces of glass. They are so pretty with the sun making them sparkle. Congrats on new teeth. I wish I could do that too. Maybe someday.

Sue in Italia/In the Land Of Cancer said...

I had knocked 2 of them out in an accident a few months ago. I do love glass.


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