Happy Valentine's Day to my loyal readers..not that this holiday means a whole lot to me. Some years it just made me sad as whoever was my boyfriend at the time thought the holiday was a crass marketing tool and didn't want any part of it thus no treats for me. Steve, however, usually does get me something and will attempt to make dinner. It will be late though as I will be watching Maya while Naomi is at school and Don'tae is at work.
Yesterday a neighbor went door to door distributing homemade Valentine treats: a gooey mix of chocolate chips, cinnamon hearts, graham cracker crumbs, coconut, and that magic elixir, sweetened condensed milk. Just what I needed and didn't need.
As for the title, I see no light at the end of the tunnel when my parenting (and grandparenting) will not be needed. Certainly I am committed to the next five years...
And what will happen if the TNBC returns? Tomorrow I go for my every 3 month check-up with the onc. I'm to alternate between the onc and the radiation onc. The woman in my neighborhood who was diagnosed with TNBC the same week I was already only has to go twice a year. Why the difference? She finished treatment before me. At any rate, they only look for local recurrences and ask for symptoms of distal recurrences. No blood tests or scans. Also my insurance (which every year morphs into something even less useful yet costs more) won't cover this. It doesn't kick in until I burn through $3K of out of pocket. I am glad that most of my treatment occurred when I had better insurance. The good news is that I have absolutely no symptoms of distal recurrence. Last year I was very nervous as I seemed to have bone pain that probably was really nerve damage. It seems to be gone...Also good, the longer I go cancer free, the better my odds. Since it has been almost 2.5 years, my chances of doom have halved. At 4.5 years, they will go down to almost nothing. But most of the time, this is way back in my mind as something always moves itself to the front.
The longer days and more sun has activated my solar lights again..small joys. Even though it was 40 deg when I was out today, I somehow almost fell on a patch of ice..ice 9? ( (theoretical ice that has a high melting point). The 40 mph winds didn't bother me as I manged to find a route that made them cross winds.