Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Situational friends

In the paper today was an article about 'work' spouses and whether one should remember them with a gift on Valentines (probably not). A work spouse is defined as someone at work of the opposite sex that is ones main confidente. Presumably, according to the article, 60% of workers admit to having someone fit this description. One does not have sex with ones work spouse but someone easily could be spending more time per week with a work spouse than an actual spouse.
Over the years, several men could have fit that description for me though I would never have referred to them as such. Especially in the early years, most of my co-workers were men so if I was going to have friends at work, they were going to be men. I am fairly out-going and most of my co-workers, even the most socially awkward ones (and there are plenty of them in science) seemed to feel comfortable with me. As Steve was friends with some of them and worked nearby, I don't think anyone would have ever accused us of doing anything not appropriate. While I was doing triathlons and running races, most of the people I trained with were men. Most of the people I played with in the raquetball league were men also although when I was pregnant with Josh, I dropped down a division and played with women (and won).
Aside from the work buddies, there was a small group of people I would call 'meeting buddies'. Most of the time, these individuals didn't have much to do with me but during meetings, I was suddenly their best friend and  every extra moment was to be scheduled with them. This puzzled me initially but after a while I just accepted it.

And none of them ever got me anything for Valentine's Day. I would have to remind them to get something for their real spouses. Most of the men I worked with were quite pragmatic and thought Valentine's Day was a crock.

Cold, cold, cold. I am too afraid of getting stuck around the Y so I ran outside today. Temp was a toasty 5 degrees but at least I found an ice-free path. It will warm up later today but the winds will increase. I rather it be cold and still. I wore gloves for the first time but towards the end, my hands became uncomfortably sweaty. My formula for dressing for the cold is such: Shorts if it is above 45 degrees, one long sleeved T-shirt if it is between 30 and 45, two shirts if it is between 15 and 30. Less than 15 and I bring out a fleece, hat and gloves.

Tonight: Cooking for Survivors.


Chez said...

Sue, my thanks for visiting Indigo Dreaming and also taking the time to read Jeremy's Memory-of site. Both have touched me deeply!
I have not received a Valentine's Day Gift for many years. Cannot imagine receiving one from a work colleague. Maybe I did not choose my work buddies well!

rama said...

Hi, it was nice to hear that you are living in Ann Arbor. Yes those are pictures of our visit in July/ August 2010. It was so kind of you to see my blog and leave a comment. The world is so small, and there are so many ways to make friends.
Have a great weekend.

nancyspoint said...

Sue, Interesting post about V Day and co-workers. I get skeptical when I read somewhere a gift is expected. Gifts should always be from the heart or for a reason, not because it's the expected thing to do. But that's just me. Oh, and happy valentine's day! That means Feb is half over!


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