Mixed news

Dr. Diehl called today with the 'mixed' news: the good news being that my nodes were clean so there is a 98% chance the cancer didn't spread beyond my breast but the bad news is that the tumor was twice as big as it appeared on the mammogram.There were two tumors and parts of one are still in me so new surgery will be needed. I am officially a Stage 2a, which means with treatment I should survive the next 10 years. They will give me 2 weeks to recover before taking new mammograms. Going through surgery again is really upsetting.

I finally took all the dressings off as I really needed a shower and surveyed the damage: I have Frankenbreast. I have two 4 inch long incisions sewn crudely together with black thread. The one incision was to get my nodes out, at least they don't need to do that again and I should be spared lymphedema as they left the armpit nodes alone. At least it doesn't look infected and it is no longer painful as long as I am tightly bound. They will go through the other incision again to get out the remains of the tumor. I don't feel very good as I think I have a mild cold. I am off the drugs as they were giving me a stomach ache. I did go on a 3 mile walk today. The weather has been very nice and I am jealous of all the runners.

Shanna and I took Oliver to Sugarbush yesterday where he had his first swing ride. He liked it for awhile. Deb came over with her entire chestnut harvest for me. We sat outside for awhile and the hummingbird made an appearance. I assumed it had flew south 2 weeks ago. Anyway it was nice that she came over. Olga sent me flowers today and I get several e-mails a day wishing me good things. I had alot of trouble last night thinking good thoughts as I thought I would get the phone call today. I had been reading about metastases. Breast tumors go to the lung, bone, liver and then brain in that order but rarely as a discrete tumor that one could just cut out as the tumor spreads through the lymph nodes. Average life span once they have been detected is 2.5 years. But presumably I should be spared all that because I have clean nodes. Still they want to do chemo and it appears that for the next 6-8 months, my life weill be very unpleasant.