Thursday, October 16, 2008

The journey

'Every journey has a destination of which the traveller is unaware' Buber

It's been more than 6 weeks now since I began this journey with increasingly scarier information with each step. Right before I had my mammogram, I had this incredibly naive thought that I was immune from life threatening illnesses and would live forever-that I had paid my dues with Grave's Disease, etc. Pride goeth before a fall.

Shanna will spend more time with me and less with the in-laws although she might let them have Oliver as he is really who they want to be with. She will leave Sunday.

I am trying to make sure I am not too morbid around people as it just makes people uncomfortable.

I joined the Triple Negative Breast Cancer Support group as they have members scanning the literature daily for new news on its treatment and put everything in one place. Treatment targetting various breast tumor markers is just starting. Advanced B cell lymphoma used to be a death sentence but now (for the past 6 years or so) fully treatable. Lots more work needs to be done before things are curative. I have to keep in mind that lots of the statistics are based on older treatments and survival rates should keep going up even as I am being treated.

I went to the mall last night with Jo and we had dinner and then looked at baby things. It was a nice time.

I didn't run today as my energy level was too low. I did walk for a mile.

Steve has been Mr. Step and Fetchit today and I feel bad. First he went shopping (after running for more than an hour-his runs are longer and longer), then picked up Naomi's senior pix, then took her to the dentist (which I had completely forgotten about-I usually keep her schedule straight)and now he is at basketball with her. It is a good thing we are retired. I don't know what would happen if I had to work through this thoough people do it all the time.

Martha brought over a nice dinner full of lots of vegetables, grilled salmon and raspberries. The soup was especially tasty. I have to change my diet so much. On the TNBC site, there was actually a study showing much lower reoccurances among people with low fat diets for TBNC though it didn't matter for the hormone positive folks, which is strange because fats are a source of estrogens.

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