Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Fearless

Tess on the computer at the library.  Tuesday is storytime. I bring Maya; Shanna brings her three and then all four play the afternoon
Fearless is the name of one of my favorite movies. A man and a few others survive  a plane crash. No one else but his fellow survivors can understand what he has gone through, certainly not his wife. He becomes a changed man.

Fearless was also a term that Soulmate used the other day to describe me. I had expressed some concern about going down steep hills in the rain. He was surprised  because he didn't think I was afraid of much. But I am very cognizant how my friend Dave died  just 2 years ago losing control on some downhill in West Virginia on his bike. But Soulmate made me feel good as I had been encountering some negativity from various sources. I needed to hear something positive even though I am not sure how true it is. There are many things I am afraid of but mainly things completely out of my control such as the fate of my children.

My high school friend and her husband came for dinner last night. So many things we shared so long ago! And then we had lost touch for 22 years or so. But it was so much fun being with her again, a special night.
I had some anxiety about how awful my house is. Shouldn't I be doing 'better'? And as I had Maya duty for most of the day, it was hard getting things just right. I can cook however.

I am tired, bone tired. I slept in the middle of the day despite having grandkids here. A combination of a cold, trying to make my absurd fitness goals, running around, trying to fix things, etc has just exhausted me.

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