Petty pity party

There are no lashes at all on my right eye and just a few on my left. They will probably be gone soon too. I know in the scheme of things, this shouldn't matter but it really makes me sad to look so weird. I wanted to call the moms up last night and tell them not to come over. I just want to hide. In 6 days, I am to go to a wedding and I have no idea how to look presentable between my bloated mid-section and my fish eyes (no lashes on them either). So what makes them fall out now-47 days after the last poisoning? I suppose each hair follicule has a resting phase lasting a few months. When I had only a few extra nasty hairs, it sometimes took months before I'd see that particular hair again. (Later, of course they had plenty of replacements and plucking became a daily activity instead of a once a month clean-up; this is one of the few benefits of chemo not having to do this). I had read that for head hair, at any given time, one third of the hair follicules are in resting phase but with mild hyperthyroidism, no resting phase and you end up with thicker hair, which indeed was the case. With severe hyperthyroidism, the hair breaks off easily. Seems like the eyelash resting phases are all in sync. I have no leg, armpit or pubes either. My head hair, at most is 5 mm long and completely transparent. At this rate in 4 months, I'll have an inch of barely visible hair. I am one sad mutant.

I know-very petty. I should be thankful that I was spared the semi-permanent nerve damage very common with Taxol resulting in numb fingers and toes that can last for a year.

As for the moms group, the weather co-operated and we were able to sit on the patio. My geraniums are in bloom that I brought outside so we had some color along with my color changing solar lights and my string of stars. I was very tired trying to repair the 6 months of neglect and couldn't muster enough energy to cook so I had Steve pick up something. I am now able to drink wine though I am limiting how much I drink even though so far there is no link to TNBC. It is linked to estrogen positive breast cancer though. Presumably, after one drink and if one is on replacement hormones, the blood level of estrogens spikes threefold due to alcohol slowing down the clearance of estrogen by the liver. This is all in Susan Love's book. Somehow taking folic acid ameliorates this effect. I am now taking vitamins.

I will go for a run now and hope it will put me in a better mood.