Monday, April 20, 2009

Dead woman Running

Tomorrow with my last radiation treatment, I enter a new phase of cancerland-survivorship. The struggle as I have heard from those who have gone before me, is to keep fears of recurrence or mets way back in the mind and to try to live as if this whole experience is behind me even as the side effects linger. This will not be a passive experience. To survive, I must change my diet and increase my exercise. Recurrence rates are presumably much higher among the obese.

Someone gave me a paper yesterday on how bisphosphonates might prevent leukemia-a 'common' side effect of radiation. Of course they didn't define what common meant but in my book, it means more than 50% when in reality, the risk of radiation induced cancers (mainly sarcoma) is less than 0.5% (source-Susan Love). All these studies were done in mice.

When I am in NYC in a couple of weeks, there will be a breast cancer run/walk in Central Park that my brother-in-law's girlfriend said she's doing partly in my honor. Still deciding if to join her.

As I entered the rad building today, a young woman approached me saying I looked familiar. Turns out she ran the coffee kiosk outside my lab and would make me lattes. Argh! She's too young for this mess! I'm too young for this stuff too. In the waiting room, it was just us three: A, M and me-the positives about this treatment though I will still see M in my LiveStrong class. One more zapping.

Yesterday and today-all rain. I went out to lunch with Josh, always a treat. He is more like a buddy than a child and we almost always get along. Later a friend and I went out too to a nice restaurant in Saline where I had stuffed with goat cheese and veggies portabellos on a bed of spinach with roasted red pepper sauce. Tasty. We then watched more Botswanian TV-The Ladies' No. 1 Detective Agency.

Some of the seeds I planted Wednesday are already germinated and the resulting plants are growing faster than my hair.

Today is the fifth anniversary of my father's death setting in motion, particularly in the first year, a series of events resulting in extreme stress. If stress causes cancer-that would be the smoking gun. I need to cash some estate income tax checks today and that will be the end of a long journey.


Anonymous said...

Congrats on your last rad tomorrow - good to hit another milestone. I'm thinking of you.

S. F. Heron said...

One more treatment for one more day and you get some freedom. I'll tell ya, sue, I'm loving not having to head to this or that doctor. This is my second week of it and if I could be rid of them all, I would.

Peace and serenity is just around the corner.

Kick the radiation machine for me on your way out the door ;0)

Hugs to you!!


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