Sunday, September 20, 2009


This week has been full of change. When I think how much my life has changed in the last 2-3 years, it makes my head spin: losing our jobs, losing my mother, 2 marriages of our kids, 2 grandbabies, and of course CANCER. In the weeks before Naomi moved out, several times she would angrily say how once she moved out, she wasn't coming back and furthermore, I was not to come to her apartment. To ensure this, she wasn't going to give me the address. Well two days after the big move, she called for me to pick her up (she can only have our car to get to work when she actually gets a job). The bus pass I got her doesn't help much on weekends as the nearest route, going up and down Huron River Drive, operates only during the week but it can get her to school in 10 minutes. Of course she still wasn't going to give me the address, mainly because she never bothered to learn it and for extra fun, couldn't give me the name of the road she was on. I just got generic instructions about turning this way or that after THE stop sign. No north or south or useful hints. I knew where the complex was but it is quite large. I ended up parking in front of the office and told her to meet me there. She was pissed as it was a walk for her but in the absence of her knowing directions even in respect to the river which runs by her place (now is that turning left as you face the river or away from the river) I had given up trying to find her by happenstance. The complex is old and the buildings are quite run down. The place seems to be populated with a mix of low income families and university students (it's on the edge of Eastern Michigan's campus and not far from where she goes to school). She was quite proud of the apartment which at least was recently refurbished with new paint and flooring. There is absolutely no furniture in either the living room or dining room. They eat sitting on the mattress that I provided, which is on the ground. It does have a nice big screen TV and video game selection. Dontae's friend lives in the other bedroom. They will gradually acquire furniture. We will give them a microwave today and maybe some dishes. They have 3 bowls between the 3 of them purchased at the dollar store. They have utensils purchased by me on our IKEA run. They did buy bedding and a lamp which shoots their September budget. But she is excited to be living there. I still think she'd have more fun living with girlfriends. Under Dontae's rules, no drinking and no going to parties. She even has to be careful the way she dresses as she doesn't want to be accused of attracting boys. She attracts them anyway.

She came here to work on a project for her communication class. She is so far getting an A in chemistry. I did feed her lunch but she wouldn't eat dinner. I do worry if she is getting enough food.

I had lunch with Josh the other day at our favorite Japanese place, which seems now to be many people's favorite so we had to wait. He had recently went to a wedding of his wife's best friend (Julia was the matron-hah-love that name-of honor)The mother of the bride, a very strange woman, had requested that Julia put off any child making plans to ensure she's fit into this tiny dress. She almost got pregnant to spite her. (Wish she did) Both the bride and groom had gone to the rich kids' school in Ann Arbor and many of the guests had gone there also. Since the public school (Huron)is considered the top academic school in the state (not so important with Ms. Naomi), one has to suspect that the homogeneous culture of the rich kids' school is the drawing card with their parents. As this was a 'destination' wedding in a northern MI resort, the guests spent several days there. Josh knew some of these kids from long ago (travel soccer and one actually had lived in our humble neighborhood). Many of them went on to top colleges but Josh had trouble dealing with them. The Rich are different from you and me.(Great Gatsby) They seemed to be very immature to him. Josh is a very social person: bright, friendly, athletic, and very handsome and always was in the 'popular' group in his schools. He told me that he was glad he went to Huron, which along with having the richest and the brightest, also has the poorest and is a United Nations of different cultures. (Given that the rich kids' tuition was the same or more as his private college tuition, this wasn't even a possibility). It was interesting listening to his insights. Of course when he was in high school, he was intensely aware of rich kids and had a rule that only the neighborhood friends could come to our house (as they obviously had nothing better than us). A second hand car we purchased for Shanna had faulty windows that were held up by screwdrivers strategically placed. It was requested that I never show up for travel soccer carpools (full of rich kids) with that.

Another beautiful day here in post-cancerland. I will go biking later today if it doesn't rain. If it does, I will take a break from 3 weeks of exercising every day. I ran more than 30 miles in the past week. I went to a friends house again the other evening enjoying the antics of the hummingbirds and the deer who routinely gallop through her yard especially in the evening. I have my own hummingbird but I am lucky to see it once a day. She gave me a feeder which her hummingbirds prefer to any other feeder or flowers. I'll see if I can attract more hummingbirds. They are so fun to watch.


Teri B. said...

What a full and wonderful life! Naomi seems to learn-by-doing... :-) tough on moms... Love, enjoy...I am not needed here at UC Davis for the drop-off. the enterprising roommate got them into the suite one day early...Kids are so different! Nature or nurture? I know what gets my vote... You are inspiring me to exercise more.

Sue in Italia/In the Land Of Cancer said...

I vote nature given the mix I have. They are what they are.
I am half-finished with an e-mail to you but the gist of it is this: pack light!


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