Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Rugelach and questionable charity

Rugelach: traditional cinnamon walnut but also chocolate cherry and honey pecan
Taste better than they look
Parol parade in San Francisco taken by my niece: The Filipino community make star shaped lanterns and then put them on parade

he likes sunflower seeds
sunset last night

A local photographer offered to take family photos of those in a low income housing project for free and then published some of his best photos in the local paper yesterday. Nice photos and a great idea as many of those photographed probably will never be able to afford professional photos at least at this point in their lives. I assume he had permission to use these photos for publicity but it seemed somewhat exploitive. There is still quite the stigma about being poor. Many of the kids pictured are school aged and easily identifiable. For instance, I recognized one young woman who as a child played on a soccer team I coached. At 17, she became pregnant with twins. And then there were the commentators, a sorry group who would make anyone lose faith in humanity. It was noted that in every family photo, there were no adult men. And almost everyone pictured was African-American. Let the racist comments begin! The road to poverty does indeed start with teenage pregnancy. This is why I was in despair when I first learned of the teenage pregnancy in our family. It was a life changer. No I do not wish Maya away. She's a wonderful child. But a lot of help is needed for Naomi to be eventually independent.
Record highs today! Warm enough for a comfortable bike ride though I was plenty comfortable yesterday when it was merely 50. All the free time I thought I would have recovering from surgery never came to pass. For one thing, since I can't run lest I rip open my ladies, I feel compelled to walk much longer. According to my Jawbone, I've walked 39 miles in the last week though I suspect this is way higher than reality. I think I swing my arms even when walking fast too much. And on my bike rides, I get zero credit for miles as my arms are more stationary than even when I am sleeping. But not all the time is lost as I listen to educational podcasts on my walks. Yep I listen at night too but generally fall asleep after  the first ten minutes.
Yesterday: All Joy and No Fun:  This seems to be top of reading lists of moms with toddlers. I know my daughter-n-law was given a copy by her mother. Average age of educated new moms these days: 33 which pretty much makes Julie the target audience. The book doesn't address concerns of the working poor and certainly was not written for those pictured in yesterdays paper. Nor was it written for the very wealthy who can afford to delegate some of the responsibilities of raising a child to others.
The title of Stay-at -Home Moms in the 50s was housewife or homemaker, not SAHMs. Although these moms would say that kids were the most important aspect of their lives, the kids would be put in a playpen while they polished their floors, etc. When the kids outgrew the playpen, they were left to their own devices running around the neighborhood in unstructured and largely unsupervised play. Mom didn't spend so much time entertaining and educating the child beyond reading bedtime stories. Now raising a child is a job; you screw it up and you get a screwed up child. Education should be begun as early as possible. Playtime is very structured and supervised to maximize positive lasting effects. Today's moms have their degrees and lots of working time under their belts before they begin motherhood. They are used to communicating with rational adults. Toddlers are not rational creatures. They live in the NOW and they want things Now, not later. Later is a very foreign concept to them despite hearing it over and over. Unhappy toddler, unhappy mom. Lots of opportunity to feel guilt. I guess feeling guilty all the time for not raising a perfect child takes all the fun out of it even when you have moments of great joy as your child reaches certain milestones.


Elephant's Child said...

The people who comment obviously have an issue (or six) of their own to address.
Happy Christmas to you and yours.

Sue in Italia/In the Land Of Cancer said...

To you too EC and The Skinny One


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