Monday, December 14, 2015

How we happened to have a Mormon wedding

The Professor and me. He was a Mormon minister at one time

cutting the cake

Although my father won many awards for photography and earned quite a bit selling his work, he was really, really bad at photographing people. This was the last week that Steve was beardless
Due to many conflicting activities yesterday, I missed Oliver's piano recital and Tessa's preschool sing. They are all dressed up

Meanwhile Josh(tallest one here) was in Texas for his best friend's wedding. Center man. These 6 guys have been together since elementary school and usually were on the same sports teams until they branched out to travel sports. The four guys in the middle were the four I would take on my 6 day bike trips. Yes I was crazy travelling with 4 teenage boys. The one on the far left was supposed to come one year but backed out at the last minute. I don't think he would have had the endurance to do it any way. In my mind, these guys are little boys, not men.
anniversary jellyfish from my sweetie

My junior year in college was especially busy as I had two majors that required many laboratory hours. The only way I could fit them all in was to have Saturday classes too. Plus I had to work. My most difficult class by far was physical chemistry. This was the class we needed the 3 semesters of calculus and then differential equations for. What level of math did I actually need for my eventual job as a synthetic  organic chemist? Um, algebra and once we had computers, not even that. We used to have analytical chemistry tests that took up to 4 hours to complete. One of the times, we were going to have a physical chemistry exam bright and early the next morning. Yes we could study several days in advance but most of us wanted to have an evening the night before to study. Maybe we could convince the P chem prof to change the date? Several fellow chem majors (men) approached me and said I would, as the prettiest chem major, have the best shot at changing The Professor's mind. I was dubious. He looked so gruff. Also my father had had him years ago and said he was a real SOB (lots of people were real SOBs in my dad's book) and I should try to find a different professor.. But I said I would do it as long as one of them came with me. The Professor ignored my companion and directed all the questions towards me. I had told him most of his class was taking the 4 hour test the night before. He said that was not true as most of the class were chem engineers, not chem majors but he would consider changing it. As I left, I said that my father had him 24years before in grad school.  He did change the date. I really struggled in the class. My boyfriend, on the other hand, found the class very easy (he was a genius) and although he didn't need the class, he took it for my sake. I found it expedient for him to attend the lectures instead of me and then have him tell me what was important. As there were at least 60 in the class, I didn't think I would be missed. But the Professor was tracking me. He showed up in my Saturday lab one morning wondering about my attendance and then invited me to lunch. Then he started popping up in all my Saturday labs. Eventually I ran his personal research lab for 2 years. My boyfriend, the much superior student, ended up as a graduate level test corrector. This did not go unnoticed by my fellow chem majors. I often was approached with..tell your stupid boyfriend that he made a mistake correcting my test.. But the boyfriend rarely made a mistake, at least not in physical chemistry. Why didn't they take their complaints to my boyfriend? He was quite muscular  and prone to fighting. People were scared of him. And 2 years later, he was gone. All for the best.

So 4 years later, I had remembered that The Professor had been an elder in the Reorganized Church of Latter Day Saints (what's the difference? Well for starters, they can drink). My grandfather didn't want me to be married in a courthouse (though he did not  offer up his minister). I thought it would be perfect if The Professor married us. Alas he had let his license lapse but he said his friend would marry us.

In the above photo, he is quite overweight. He did love his food. But when I saw him a year later, he was skin and bones though still ebullient and happy to see me. He had pancreatic cancer. They did surgery to cut his nerves so he would feel nothing. He died about six months later. He was a very important person in my life.

So yesterday was our 38th anniversary which we sort of celebrated 2 weeks ago on our trip to Lake Michigan not knowing what kind of shape I would be after the surgery (better than I expected but again, I didn't get everything done that I thought would be). My surgery was scheduled late in the day. It took longer than expected and I was very slow to come to. Everyone else had left the waiting room long ago. I think about him all alone in the waiting room worrying by himself about me. Yes I have a good support system but alas, he does not.

Last night I came home very late from my MOMs party (which I will write about some other time). The nights were on, the door unlocked. My bed was all prepared for me. I am truly blessed to be married to this wonderful loving man.

1 comment:

Elephant's Child said...

I am so glad that you have blessings to count.


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