Saturday, October 19, 2013

Confessions of a Teenage single mom

Naomi (and Maya) gave her presentation yesterday to the high school parenting class; the one in which they have an artificial baby to watch that cries incessantly and keeps track of neglect. The message that the class tries to impart is that although babies are cute, they are a lot of work so one might want to think twice before acquiring one.

I asked her if she were nervous.
Why should I be nervous?

She was encouraged to focus on the negative. When she didn't sound negative enough, the teacher brought up that Naomi's mom was battling breast cancer while she was becoming pregnant and how hard that must have been.  Reflecting back on her story, she guessed she sounded pretty pathetic and hopeless. But every time Maya started to speak, the students would ooh and aah as she is so cute. She was asked several different times in a variety of ways whether she regretted her decision to have Maya.

Absolutely NOT!!!!! Maya is her reason to live and the source of most of her happiness, etc.

So I guess that was a mixed message.

And as she asked me later, what would she  be doing if she didn't have Maya?

There was another murder in that hell hole she used to live in the other day. That makes 3 in the past year though to be fair, one of them was in a different complex a few blocks away. This one sounded like it was in her building or at least next to her old building. We bought the condo so they would have a safe place to live (and in a better school district) but as soon as their marriage dissolved. Don'tae moved right back there. Fortunately a few weeks ago, he moved to a much safer place well away from there so I have a few less worries.

As I sat for what seemed forever in the dentist's chair being fitted for a crown a few days ago, the dental assistant told me her story of woe which in a nutshell is that her 18 year old is pregnant. All her dreams for her daughter are destroyed! And various people are getting all 'judgy' on her for 'letting' this happen. Her daughter will name her son after a zodiac character and not the cool, hipster one Leo that some of Shanna's generation are choosing for their boys ( I do like Leo too). Her dilemma was how to muster some enthusiasm for this baby as otherwise, her negativity will cause a rift in their relationship. When I was finally able to speak, once my mouth was free of cotton wads, dental putty, drills and what have you, I told her that this story sounds a bit familiar. They all will survive but not to be so quick to have them marry. Who wants to stay married to someone they selected when they were 18? Well it turns out she did but her husband died in an accident just 2 years ago. More tears.

It's cool and drizzly. No more Indian summer. I should have biked yesterday while it was sunny and calm.

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