Aww...Google remembered it was my birthday

This is the page I opened up to this morning. Maybe because it is Queen Elizabeth's birthday?Nope because it is mine

How does Google know it's my birthday? I don't recall ever filling anything out for them. I guess they could read Facebook.

How to celebrate my diminishing time left on earth? I received an adorable duet or maybe a trio of little ones singing Happy Birthday on my voice mail. Well tomorrow, a mini-vacay and today we went out two times. I have been diligently running and biking but sadly I can eat even faster. But it was nice eating downtown out on the sidewalk watching the people go by.

More and more flowers are popping up; the peepers are still peeping. Even Steve can here them from the nearby woods. A night on a deck listening to the soft sounds of spring and the wind chimes while sipping wine.

A nice Easter.

Ms. Allie and us

One (!!!!!) of my birthday desserts. Grilled orange pound cake with nutella mousse covered in fruit. Yeah I needed that

While we were browsing in some downtown stores, one of my favorite songs was playing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh3EV9SeJvY. Closed related, his song containing the lyrics

Suzanne the plans they made put an end to you.

Ten years ago today, my dad died

My parents at our wedding. They were 50 here

The last words he spoke to me a month before he died:

There wasn't anything more to say to you.

I had been speaking to him at work trying to figure out his plans for my  mom who had Alzheimer's Disease. She had been kicked out of the first nursing home and was sent to a psychiatric hospital. She needed a new nursing home but he was considering bringing her home, which would be a very bad idea. Our few conversations usually ended with him dramatically slamming the phone down on me, which was probably the case this time. But my work phone had a faulty wire (who has wired phones any more?): if I stretched the wire too much, the call would be cut off. I called him to see if I had ended the conversation accidentally. No, as usual, he had slammed the phone down on me.

On the night he died, I got a call saying he didn't have much longer to live, maybe just two weeks or so. His uric acid levels were at dangerous levels and might have destroyed several organs. I went to see him just as he finished having dialysis. He seemed to be sedated but had good color and was breathing easily. He had gone to the hospital just 2 days prior to see if his arm was broken (it wasn't but it was so painful, he couldn't use it and thus not get anything for himself such as something to drink). They had released him. As far as I could tell (I demanded all his records), there were no lab tests done. Within the next day, he went downhill fast. He had stupidly hired a psychopathic homeless man as a caretaker 6 months previous when my mother first went into a nursing home. My father always was helpless to take care of himself even when he was in good health. This man ended up stealing from him and not even giving him fluids he so badly needed towards the end. He had begged a week before his death my mom's nursing home to let him share my mom's room because he was afraid of a man living in his house that just wouldn't leave and who was threatening him.

A few hours after I got home, I get a call saying that if I want to say goodbye, I better get there fast. Five minutes later, I get a call saying he was dead. On the death certificate, cause of death : uremia. Real cause: neglect and stupidity. Also the time of death was well before the series of phone calls. Again the hospital left out lots of crucial information when I demanded all the records.

At first the cockroach still in my mother's house seemed to be helpful though he did seem resistant to moving out any time soon. The lawyer correctly guessed that he would never leave voluntarily and that he needed to be evicted. As far as I was concerned, he was a guest that needed to be uninvited but no, a court procedure was necessary. Unfortunately the Notice to Quit came on a day we were mass cleaning the house (I had asked for it to be delayed until we were done) which really angered him so much that he threatened to shoot me. He had told my brother and father numerous times about how he shot someone who didn't do what he wanted. I called the police, who arrived in full force complete with a SWAT team. They did a record check on him and yes, he did have an incident in which he shot someone.(not hitting..he claimed they were warning shots). But as it turned out, he had a right to stay in my mother's house and I did not. It took two more long months to go through the harrowing eviction procedure with him having to be physically removed and all the possessions thrown on the lawn for me to clean up. He took everything that was of value. Fun times and then he sued the estate claiming wages even though after a month, he did nothing for my father other than to bully him . I have lost track how many times that year, I had to go to court. And after a while, I figured the lawyer was doing everything in his power to extend the case for his benefit only so I ordered him not to do one more thing on 'our' behalf. The case was closed within 18 months but no one bothered to tell me that until I asked 4 years later.

And meanwhile I was working full time and dealing with a high needs child  and my mom, who then I was responsible for. Does stress cause cancer?

My father and I parted ways not long after I married. I overheard him bragging to a friend that I was a 'success' (defined by having a relatively highly paid job and graduating from a 'good' school) because of him as opposed to his friend's daughter who could not finish school and at best had a series of part time minimum wage jobs. This was a bit much for me: I angrily shouted that if I was a success, it was DESPITE him not BECAUSE of him. My childhood was not a happy one, in large part due to him. I got by knowing 'this too shall pass'. As it turned out, these were unforgivable words. He disinherited me on the spot.

I saw him over the next 30 years or so only to appease my grandfather and to rescue my mother who was trapped in this abusive marriage. He was very dependent on her yet he could never be kind to her. In his last few years, I needed to help him with his health issues usually caused by neglect and magical thinking on his part. He resented that I needed to take him to the ER and the doctors would speak to  me, not him.

He never showed any interest in his 6 grandkids claiming they were half-breeds. He pretended not to know Shanna's name. He was a racist and profoundly selfish. And he was clueless. He was especially bitter that his house lost value because of African Americans moving in (even though they maintained their homes and he didn't). He would tell any African American medical personnel that had the misfortune of being assigned to him that 'their people' have destroyed his home value. I would ask him, what do you expect them to do with this information? And you wonder why,they speak to me and not you?

I know it is not good form to speak ill of the dead especially of  someone who gave me life and really thought he was doing his best. He did have many friends, which always surprised me. Although he was so clueless about many things, he did have many talents. But he was a very difficult person having temper tantrums well beyond the age of three. Always screaming and panicking. I never came across any one like him.I lived with him until I was 18, a small part of my life. I have had plenty of time to make my own happiness. I have since come across numerous people who have had Oprah story worthy childhoods making mine look like a walk in the park yet they thrived. I have no reason to whine

It is a beautiful Easter Sunday. I will go out to brunch with two of my children. And yesterday I had a wonderful early birthday lunch with Shanna. And then, I hope to have a long bike ride.

Grand daughters

Allie enjoyed playing the organ

Allie looks dubious about who is holding her

It's so much fun to feed babies!

Howdy Doody!

This is a sign along the local freeway

There is someone in nearby Ypsilanti pooping on the slides in the parks. Apparently this person is a serial pooper..and you think your community has problems. I am assuming this person does his/her business while no one is looking. Perhaps they can take samples and match the DNA with locals. Or maybe someone is just throwing dog poop  on the slides.

Good Friday.  A visit from Josh and Allie and Naomi and Maya and then a run.

All signs from the Ann Arbor News

Is your son lactating?

Again, photo has nothing to do with my subject. Fresh out of boys lactating though I suppose I could have found some of boys with gynecomastia (man breasts) on the internet. Allie is all dressed up here for her school's pictured day.
Smiles all day but then she refused to smile for the scary photographer

Here her legs look more in proportion. Photography 101: get down to the level of your subject or you will have heads that look way too large

Is your son lactating?(ambulance chaser ad for suing drug company that makes the drug that calms boys but can lead to temporary man breasts)

Could selfies be spreading head lice?!!!(Current teaser for local TV news show..I assume they mean selfies that have another person in them)

The deodorant that lasts seven days!(This is for Mum's, a deodorant popular in the late 50s. How many people put this stuff to the test?)

Shampoo that is completely vegan and gluten-free! (this is on my huge Costco shampoo bottle: it is also sulfate free which presumably makes it less likely to strip my hair color. My hair now feels soft for much less money. Not convenient for travel though. I don't intend to eat it however)

The average person spends more than 15 minutes a day hunting for lost objects! (this nugget is from last Tuesday's WSJ science page. I don't believe it though phones and keys are the items most sought.

I had more crazy claims in mind but can't think of them now off hand.

Steve has a theory that if you wait long enough, things will heal themselves. Well it came true today for Blogger using Chrome. For two months, I couldn't use it (had to use less useful IE). Today I can. Yay! I see Microsoft sent all sorts of updates overnight so a fix must have been contained.

My last Y class for a while and then a visit to a friend.

Post-mastectomy pain

This photo of Grand Rapids through the Ford Museum window hasn't anything to do with the subject at hand but is part of my current project to make a book of my favorite photos. The window makes it appear almost like a water color

Post-mastectomy pain syndrome (PMPS) is experienced by 20-68% of breast cancer survivors according  to Cure magazine. Not sure why they report such a huge range of sufferers..maybe the info was gleaned from several studies. Despite its name, PMPS is more commonly experienced by lumpectomy patients than mastectomy patients. The only way this makes sense to me is that it must be due to the radiation that the lumpectomy people receive as the surgery  for a mastectomy is more extensive and thus more prone to damaging the intercostobrachial nerve. Most mastectomy patients get to skip the radiation (unless their lymph nodes were affected). Also personal evidence: I really did not feel the effects of this until after radiation despite my two surgeries.

The intercostobrachial nerve serves the upper arm, under arm, shoulder and chest region. The pain can be constant or intermittent. In my case, it led to frozen shoulder. For almost a year, I could not extend my arm upwards. As I had physical therapy for frozen shoulder on my other arm due to breaking it a year before my stay in Cancerland, I knew the drill and eventually was able to get most of my  mobility back though I still feel a twinge when I do the pull downs at the Y.

What is left is occasional stabbing pains in my rib cage. The first time I felt this, I panicked as I thought it was bone mets. But the pain went away within hours, sometimes within minutes. Also it isn't always the same ribs. Sometimes it feels suspiciously like a heart attack but I chose wisely at the Cancer Store: get the right breast kind, well away from the left sided heart.

I will go for months without feeling anything and then it will hit: just last month I was sitting in a car somewhere in Pennsylvania driving back from NY and I feel a crushing pain taking my breath away. It passed within 10 minutes. More often I feel this in the middle of the night. But it always fades, which I always have to repeat to myself even when I feel I am going to pass out.

The article in Cure (winter 2013, p 48)lists all sorts of medications that might help. But as it is most likely neuropathic pain (damage to nerves themselves), only substances such as gabapentin might help and that takes 2 weeks to kick in. In my case, it happens so rarely I just have to buck-up, Buttercup.

The pain can occur anywhere from a couple months after surgery and last for more than 6 years. So if surgery caused it, why didn't it immediately show up (radiation seems more like the culprit). Also Taxol can damage nerves but usually in the fingers and toes. I seem to have less attacks as time goes on so maybe it is fading away.

Ah still cold. I am waiting for it to warm up a bit before my run. The insurance inspector is here to make sure we got a new roof. Yesterday it would not have been obvious underneath that 4 inches of snow. Hopefully it melted.

Diagnostic versus screening

The winter that would not quit. Four inches over everything this morning . And ice beneath the snow!
Fortunately the roads were too warm for it to stick to them

So Obamacare is to provide no cost screening for various health conditions, the two biggies being breast cancer and colon cancer. My mammogram this fall was going to be my first screening one since the diagnosis 5 years ago. Yay! For free! But then they found something (which after much money and anxiety turned out to be nothing) so not only was I on the hook for all the follow-up tests and biopsy, they made me pay for the screening mammogram too. I complained for naught to both the hospital and the insurance.

But the colonoscopy is yet another matter. I am at no particular risk for colon cancer besides my age (Steve on the other hand has several risk factors). I've been over 50 for some time. I have scheduled a few of them but always had to cancel at the last minute. Two years ago, I decided I better get one and made sure it was coded for the 'free' screening, appropriate as I have no symptoms. But then I got a call from the hospital to make sure I brought $3500 with me. But it's a screening one! They say sometimes (no statistics on how likely that was) they need to take a closer look or there might be a polyp, both common, and if that happens, I have to pay $3500 or more if a biopsy is involved even if no cancer is present.

OK I guess I can afford it though I can think of many other uses for that money. But many people can't. If they think they might be charged, are they going to get one? Or sometimes they are not warned in advance and face a very nasty surprise and this is even when no cancer is found. I told my primary not to even bother writing me out a requisition, I won't get one. He mailed me one a few weeks later. I have since found out that as of this year, even if they find a polyp or need to take a closer look at a dicey area, they still have to code it as screening colonoscopy meaning no extra cost to the patient except for maybe a biopsy. Still some of the costs of the procedure such as the anesthesia still could be billed. These things should be clarified in advance. And it certainly doesn't pay to complain to your primary about gut pains, blood, etc because then he can't write a script for a screening one, it has to be a diagnostic.

And routine tests. Assuming you have no history of diabetes, high blood pressure, anemia, high cholesterol, etc, screening is free. But since I have had Graves' Disease, I always have to pay for those blood tests even though I get the same results every time. Obamacare covers a 'free' check-up yearly. But some are finding that if they go into it with a list of complaints that need to be investigated further, it is no longer a well check-up but a 'sick' office visit that will be charged. Does this encourage or discourage one to share with your physician?

Well if it had to snow, today was a good day for it as I was going to the Y. This will be my last week. Assuming it won't continue to snow, I will transition to being a bicyclist instead.