When the beauty of a sunset is not enuf

glass pretty to look at when my hummers fly south

more glass pretties

Sunset last night: Steve's camera

me taking a photo through a screen as I was too lazy to get dressed to go outside

For Colored Girls who have Considered Suicide when the Rainbow is Enuf was the first Broadway play I ever went to back in 1977 during my first or second visit to NYC with Steve. Presumably the title came from the author feeling down and suicidal when she happened upon a double rainbow and brightened. September is Suicide Prevention month. According to a podcast I listened to recently, suicides are up on campus. Why is this, people pondered aloud? Pressures are the same these days as times past. More drugs are available to treat depression. What's up with these kids?

 

Consensus: kids these days have less resilience. Too much is done for them leaving them unprepared for self comforting

 

Over the years I've had conversations with fellow parents comparing our childhoods with those of our children. Only one thought she had an easier childhood than that of her children.

 

A friend of mine frequently deals with failed suicides. Recently a college student distraught with a relationship break-up swallowed lye. Didn't kill her but left her with a very scarred voicebox and throat. So for now, she can not eat or speak.

 

No one close to me has ever died via suicide though an uncle with psychiatric problems killed himself before I was born and a great uncle upset of losing money in the depression, shot himself. His widow bought as many stocks as she could cheap and later became quite wealthy.

 

A  neighbor woman I was acquainted with one day locked herself in the garage with the car running for her young boys to find her when they came home from school. I was shocked on so many levels. BTW, killing yourself these days this way is far harder due to much less CO emissions from a car. A pharmacologist at work chose this way years ago to kill himself and he had many options available and knowledge.

 

Do I consider suicide wrong? Not in the face of an incurable, painful disease. The scariest are young men who act on impulse.

 

It is beautiful out. I will sit outside with a friend for Happy Hour.

 

Yesterday, I visited a friend in the hospital after running a few errands. She has developed complications from her surgery that are very painful and unpleasant. And I've been spending lots of time on the phone with my friend awaiting her transplant. Again, unexpected, painful complications.

 

As I sat last night on the porch with Steve drinking my Gin and Tonic, I recounted their problems (which have since become worse for Ms. Transplant), he said :

We are so lucky.