NaomI I moaN

Daniel and his folds. He is sooooo cute but moves around quite a bit so taking non-blurry pictures of him is impossible

Two moving targets relatively still for the second

Daniel sitting in the Circle of Neglect pointing to his erupting tooth

Oliver finishing breakfast

Daniel all bundled up ready to go

22 weeks with Oliver in the background

The baby is kicking harder and harder but I always miss it when she suddenly grabs my hand to feel it.

Sweet treats at the bakery in Brookline. I bought some very tasty ruggelach there

View from Rainbow Bridge of Niagara Falls. We were on this bridge for a long time yesterday. Naomi could have taken a better picture if she would have just stood up through our moonroof but that would be work. She took this by reaching blindly from the moonroof. Note to Canadian Customs: Check out why it takes the Lane 7 guy three times longer than the Lane 6 guy to do the same job. Note to self: stay away from Lane 7.

Sunset from Shanna's terrace. A more interesting shot would have been to waddle down to the beach and take a picture of the Boston skyline to the west-yes Boston is almost due west (and somewhat north) of Shanna as she is on a pennisula sticking out into the ocean.

Pleasure Bay-South Boston

To get to these series of causeways that eventually leads to Castle Island takes 3 miles of running (6 mile round trip). To run on the causeways to get to Castle Island is an 8 mile round trip-more if I actually run on the island, which I did Tuesday. Logan Airport is just an island over to the north so the planes fly very low overhead. The Castle in question is actually an old fort

The start of the causeway which thankfully, is not cement unlike the path leading to it. It is very refreshing in the summer to be out in the water. Not so much with the northeast wind in the winter

Naomi on Carson's Beach about a mile from Shanna's apartment. Her complex can be seen as a series of red brick buildings. The white building is the JFK Library on Columbia Point



We are finally home after the grueling 13 hour drive with Naomi's throbbing music still resonating in my head. When we were not studying microbiology, we took turns listening to 'our' music.The roads were clear and sunny but Canadian Customs was a bitch. Outside of Buffalo is an electronic billboard with estimated times for the various crossings: the Lewiston crossing (one that the Tom-Tom suggests) was 60 minutes plus vs the Rainbow crossing (0-30 minutes which turned into 45 minutes due to me guessing the wrong lane). There is a 3rd crossing but it flashed too quickly for its abbreviations to make sense to me. Everytime I see the name "Rainbow Bridge", I think of that sad poem people send you when your dog dies saying how happy your doggy is on his side of the Rainbow Bridge happily cavorting painfree now that he is dead. But with all the mist kicked up by the falls and sunlight, rainbow spottings from this bridge are quite frequent and thus the name. Note to self: if you are the only one in the car capable of reading a map, don't be driving when you have to make a change of plans or memorize all possible routes ahead of time. I think I know the path now. Another issue was trying to cajole Naomi to move during our stops so she wouldn't develop thrombophlebitis or a bladder infection from avoiding peeing. She still has an infection despite treatment. Her own OB was useless but Shanna's friend the OB sent in a script for us. Lots of moaning the entire week with her telling the both of us that we don't know what pain is. Oh I think we do and it has red hair. She didn't want to hear how the second trimester is the easy one-wait until the third if she wants misery and how at this time while pregnant with her and being 19 years older, I was running 5 miles a day whereas she can't walk 50 feet feet in less than 2 minutes.

Due to her condition, baby bootcamp was a bust although I think she did absorb some mothering skills from Shanna. She also received lots of baby equipment. In her rare good moods, she did interact happily with Daniel and would rock him to sleep. Most of the time she wanted to just lie around and moan. On our last day, she wouldn't go to Oliver's music class or to our trip to the North End, which normally she'd enjoy. As it was sunny, I did drive her to the beach (usually one can just walk to it-or in my case run to it) and it cheered her up somewhat. She was mad at herself for wasting a potentially good time. There won't be many opportunities in the near future to be on vacation. She still has a very romanticized version of what motherhood will be despite seeing Shanna night after night trying to quiet a sick, fussy baby. Her baby won't get sick and she thinks she knows how to make them happy. Shanna at one point said how embarassing it is to have a teenage mom for a sister. I guess it suggests that we are low class somehow. But just try being the mom of a teenage mom with people pointing their fingers and tsk-tsking your obvious failure as a mother. Their precious sweeties would never get into this situation, they were taught right from wrong..blah, blah, blah. F them.

What does it take to be a good mom?

For the past 4 nights, Daniel's respiratory infection (diagnosed by the doctor as RSV virus)has made it difficult for him to feed or sleep. He also is teething. He does not suffer in silence. Shanna walks with him for hours getting by on just a few hours of sleep. Meanwhile Naomi can completely block him out. This does not bode well for baby Taenae. Maybe she will rise to the occasion with her own child..maybe. Of course she is suffering too as she keeps reminding anyone within earshot. She has a minor infection that she finds intensely painful. Noone know the pain she's in-noone. Labor, broken arms, kidney infections, post-surgical pain-she just wishes that she had those conditions instead. We just don't know what pain is. Can't wait for her to be in labor.

Meanwhile her studies are being neglected. She has a big test when she returns from her break but is too miserable to concentrate. She spends her days on the phone complaining to Dontae on how miserable she is. He's probably counting his blessings she's gone.

It was sunny yesterday so I went on a long run to Castle Island-almost 9 miles, my longest run in a very long time. There is a mile long stretch in which the path is a narrow causeway in the middle of Boston Harbor and so one is almost surrounded by water. Logan Airport is just an island away so the landing planes are very close overhead..

While Shanna and Daniel were at the doctor, Naomi, Oliver and I went to the water. In general, Naomi likes the ocean but she walked like a 90 year old woman having to take frequent breaks. But the sun and water cheered her up some.

But in the evening, it was back to self pity for her. I am not sure what requires more patience, trying to soothe a sick baby night after night on very little sleep or dealing with a very immature teenager that soon will need to find some strength to deal with what's coming. Serenity now!!!

Croup

Poor Daniel! He is having such a difficult time with the croup. When he cries, it is this squeaky high pitched cry and we end up laughing at him as he sounds so funny. He stops and laughs with us but then remembers how miserable he is and resumes his crying. He wheezes as he breathes but isn't terribly sick, is alert and still wants to eat. Shanna has him in the shower now so he has moist air to breath.
Naomi is learning alot about babies. Oliver loves Curious George so lots of his clothes have monkeys on them. I said that Naomi's baby probably will get these clothes and she got mad. A black baby wearing monkeys? What could I be thinking?

So Shanna lives on the water which has miles of paths along it. Nice to run on except that most of it is concrete, extra hard on my legs. I went close to 7 miles yesterday but today was extremely windy and Oliver needed to be at his class early in the morning. He is in a toddler class to help with his expressive language issues. He actually speaks quite a bit but has his own language. He will probably be reading before he speaks sentences as he knows all his letters. We watched him through a one way mirror. It is good for him to have other kids to interact with. We then went to Brookline for some crepes.

I took Oliver for a walk later along the water. He ran the whole time we were out. So much energy!

The long road to babies

Naomi and I are finally in Boston after our long drive here. I didn't get much sleep the night before we left. Naomi didn't show up here until well past midnight and I was nervous about her driving in yet another storm. Plus the car was completely gasless and as I soon found out, without wiper fluid. We needed to take the car we let her drive despite its smaller gas tank,less comfort, worse mileage,etc because we need space to bring the crib back. But it has a thermometer which I nervously watched to make sure it was too warm for ice, a moonroof, and a sound system that makes glass rattle within a quarter mile of us. Our ride was uneventful until we got aound Hamiliton Ontario in which we were in a lake effect snow squall and fog making it difficult to see the car in front of me. As we got closer to the border crossing, the road had become a single track in deep slush. Where were the road crews? We crossed the long bridge over the Niagara River sliding the whole way. It seemed we were the only car on the road. I almost got stuck in a deep drift right outside customs. Fortunately they had cleared the US side but Naomi had typed that we wanted to avoid tollroads into our GPS so we were off on a very painfully slow road that added 30 minutes to our trip before I realized what had happened. It was clear after that and warm enough so that we didn't worry about snow anymore. It was beautiful driving through the Berkshires with the trees covered with snow and the mountains. Once we descended from them, there wasn't even snow on the ground (around our house has 24 inches).
So we made it in about 12.5 hours. Naomi drove the flatter areas of New York. Daniel has changed alot but now has the croup which is making him miserable. I needed to sleep not long after we got there.
Around midnight, I thought my ears were ringing due to dehydration but no, a fire alarm. Naomi never even heard it. I assumed the college kids living here set off the alarm and buried my head. I didn't want to get up and run down 5 flights of stairs to stand in the cold much less take the babies out or try to wake Naomi up. But after 10 minutes, the alarm stopped and I went back to dreams of giant insects attacking me.

Snow, snow, go away....

The source of our yummy knishes conveniently only 1 mile away from where Steve
stayed. It is a Kosher pizza place so no meat on those pizzas. Restaurants are
either meat or dairy-no Kosher restaurant would serve both. So fish..meat or
dairy? If you guessed meat, you would be wrong.

The old time knishery in the Lower East Side. Steve got some knishes there until
we found a better source.

Steve and his brother in front of their old house in East New York. A few years
ago, standing there would be risky but gentrification is encroaching. New
Yorkers must love white cars!!!!

Steve (the tall brown haired one) and his brother in the same spot only 52 years
ago. Their mom is off to the side. A few years later, their family moved to
Brighton Beach

Well I had hoped to be on the road to Boston by this time today but storm after storm stand in my path. I'm tired of that perky Weather Channel lady gleefully reporting record snowfalls here and there, trees crushing New Yorkers in Central Park, expressway closures, airport closures. Good thing Steve got out while he could. It looks only somewhat better tomorrow.

And the snow is piling up here too with black ice in the morning threatening my son's life. So no running outside for me-it is windy too along with the slick conditions. I did run around the Y track and then worked with weights hoping that it will help my bad arm. Yesterday I went to visit my housebound friend though I think soon she'll be able to drive where she wants.

Naomi once had a friend who was a kleptomaniac. Her room was full of stolen objects-from friends and from stores. Naomi had contact lenses that made her eyes intensely blue. The girl did ask if she could have a pair though they would not be her prescription. Naomi told her no. Shortly thereafter, Naomi's entire stock of blue contacts went missing, about $200 worth. I was furious but there was really no way to prove that this girl stole them. A few months later, she was observed with intensely blue eyes and this was reported to Naomi. Naomi went to the mom and told her about her daughter, which was no surprise to the mom who also had observed the contacts. I had to send this woman a receipt for the contacts and I did get a check. But I wanted Naomi never, never to have anything to do with this thief again. Now the girl has taken Naomi's pix off her Facebook, cut the heads off, and claims that it is herself that it is pregnant. This is one strange girl.

Sfogliatelle

The best place to eat sfogliatelle

Sfogliatelle are Neapolitan pastries that are triangular folds of crunchy dough containing sweetened ricotta. They are a mouthful for me to say as sf words don't easily roll off my lips. In Italian, the prefix 's' is similar to our 'un'. Fortunate =fortunato; unfortunate=sfortunato. Foglia=leaf . In Boston, these pastries are known as 'lobster tails'-something that flows more readily off of American lips (and then on to their hips!!). When we were in Boston last time, Shanna asked us to pick up a lobster tail for her. Steve thought she meant the actual crustacean.

I had a sfogliatella in the Gran Caffe Gambrinus shortly after we were dropped off in Napoli (from the Greek neopolis-new city-ha! they don't know what new is)and told to fend for ourselves with one week of Italian under our belts. A beautiful place full of frescoes and art noveau woodwork. My first job: asking for a sfogliatella without resorting to 'Vorrei quella' (I want that!) And how did we eventually find what we needed to find? French tourists! En francais! Good thing I knew French!

Now these delights are under my roof thanks to Steve along with the cherry cheese knishes, which are just as good as Mrs. Stahl's. So he's safely back and I am seeing if I can leave tomorrow despite the snows along my path.

I am tired of this snow. I went to the Y to run my laps. The public schools are out this week so the place was full of kids. I parked in a snow drift spot only inches longer than my car. Should get a gold medal for parking. I will award it to myself just like the Russian skater awarded himself the 'platinum medal' because he did a quadruple toe loop.

The Wall

Our driveway faces a cul-de-sac. Sometimes as the city clears the entrance to it, it pushes the snow in front of my driveway. Monday afternoon I diligently cleared everything out to the narrow clear lane in the street. It wasn't easy given the uselessness of my right arm but I did it. A friend Monday night told me about the wall. While it was still soft, I should have taken it down but I was tired and had a guest. By yesterday morning, it froze solid effectively sealing me in. It was so thick and high that it probably could last for another month. Until the sun softenned it (fortunately it was out), it would be impossible to do anything about it. I ran a 10K. It was pretty out with all the trees laden with snow and comfortable as it was 30 deg.

The Wall was by then showing some signs of softening. I hacked away at it for more than an hour with a sharp metal shovel. I was so mad. So unfair for the city to do this to me when I am all alone and now effectively am one-armed due to cancer!!!! It hurt my right arm to use it. The city has some law about not putting the snow back out into the street but I certainly was not going to carefully pile it up now. I flung it bit by bit back into the street with tears of rage thinking very dark thoughts about how cancer walls you off from the world.

Once I finally freed myself, did I go anywhere? No I was exhausted. Did I really need to do this? I could walk to the store (1.5 mile round trip) or demand Naomi come and bring me things. I could have had Josh stop by after work with all his carefully groomed muscles attack the Wall in a fraction of the time. Or I could wait 24 hours and have Steve do it. I'm sure he would be thrilled after driving back from NYC. As it is, snow removal is something he really thinks is useless as it will melt sometime anyway. And now it is snowing hard again. No clear streets for me but I can go to the Y.

I wasn't totally isolated. Throughout the day, I heard from all my kids and my daughter-in-law. The last one was a surprise for me as usually she asks me for things through Josh, never directly. I am not really that scary, really.
And Ms. Naomi called panicky as she saw a spot of blood! But it was one spot and the baby was still kicking strong. It made me feel guilty. In the beginning when I thought or hoped that she was only a few weeks pregnant, I wished for a miscarriage. But now even though I think she is ill-prepared to be a mother, I know losing the baby would absolutely crush her. She thinks her purpose in life is to be this baby's mother and doesn't want to listen to me about how hard it will be.

Next week will be Baby Bootcamp. Two babies to prepare Naomi for motherhood! She says she just needs to help take care of Daniel, the 6 month old (who at his check-up yesterday weighed as much as Naomi at a year) as she said she will only have one baby to take care of. If only that will be true!!! I pointed out that she needs to know how to deal with toddlers too. But she is just thinking baby at this point-not toddlers or heaven forbid-teenagers!!!

I watched "The Painted Veil". An excellent but sad movie. I fell asleep watching the ice skating. Steve will return at some point today. He stopped in the middle of PA last night. Hopefully this snow clears up before he has to drive in it.