Metformin is the generic name of a diabetic drug formerly marketted as Glucophage. It had been noticed that patients who had cancer while on this drug had less recurrences than patients not on the drug. It is now in clinical trials as an add-on with traditional chemotherapy for breast cancer. Some cancers arise from cancer stem cells (discovered at UM) and these are very resistant to chemo but metformin seems to starve them by altering the glucose levels they seem to be dependent on. A little bit of hope there. This was in today's Wallstreet Journal.
Also in the popular press (Newsweek this time) was on how how some hormone disrupters such as the bisphenols found in plastic bottles and even an ingredient in soy (gentisen?) cause cells in developing fetuses to become fat cells leading to fat babies and adults. We as adults now weren't exposed to these substances but lots of young kids were with bad results. Don't feed soy milk to babies the article concluded.
In the scientific press from the research institute that my son-in-law works for (Broad Inst), I found an article that addresses how estrogen can lead to estrogen negative breast cancer. Young women are at a greater risk for breast cancer in the year following pregnancy as their breast tissue was stimulated quite a bit by hormones so that they could nurse. But what kind of BC do they get? Not estrogen dependent as you may have guessed but estrogen negative. If you are interested, here's the abstract:
Contributions of estrogen to ER-negative breast tumor growth
References and further reading may be available for this article. To view references and further reading you must purchase this article.
Piyush B. Guptaa, 1, and Charlotte Kuperwasserb, ,
aBroad Institute of MIT & Harvard, 7 Cambridge Center, Cambridge, MA 02142, United States
bDepartment of Anatomy & Cell Biology, Tufts University School of Medicine, MORI, Tufts-New England Medical Center, 136 Harrison Avenue, Boston, MA 02111-1800, United States
Available online 16 October 2006.
Abstract
Breast cancer is a hormone-based disease with numerous factors contributing to the lifetime risk of developing the disease. While breast cancer risk is reduced by nearly 50% after one full term pregnancy, women over the age of 25 have a significantly greater risk of developing breast cancer immediately following parturition compared to their nulliparous counterparts. It is widely presumed that the increased risk of developing breast cancer following pregnancy is due to the ability of pregnancy-associated hormones to promote the further proliferation of an initiated target cell population. It is surprising however, that the majority of breast cancers that develop following pregnancy lack appreciable expression of either the estrogen or progesterone receptors. This important observation suggests that if hormones play a part in promoting breast cancer following pregnancy, they may not be doing so through direct binding to hormone receptor molecules expressed by breast cancer cells.
To reconcile this conceptual conflict we investigated the hypothesis that steroid hormones promote the outgrowth of ER-negative cancers by influencing host cell types distinct from the breast epithelium itself. We demonstrated that increasing the levels of circulating estrogens is sufficient to promote the formation and progression of ER-negative cancers while, pharmacologically inhibiting estrogen synthesis following pregnancy prevents ER-negative tumor formation. Moreover, we demonstrate that the effects of estrogen act via a systemic increase in host angiogenesis, in part through increased mobilization and recruitment of bone marrow stromal derived cells into sites of angiogenesis and to a growing tumor mass. Taken together, these data suggest that estrogen may promote the growth of ER-negative cancers by acting on cells distinct from the cancer cells to stimulate angiogenesis.
So maybe that Prem-pro did lead to my TNBC.
My little grandson is 4 weeks old today. He now has a social smile even though he lost his foreskin last week. How time flies! A nice running day too.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
thieves
Someone took Steve's credit card number and ordered $450 of stuff online last week. I would be curious to what address the stuff was sent. He told them that he wanted to cancel the card. Why? they asked. Duh!!!While I was recovering from my surgery last year, someone openned a Sear's acct using my driver's license (which hadn't left my possession). They had my address and my SSN. I am assuming a bank employee.
When I can't sleep in the middle of the night (often), I do Italian exercises. Hopefully some of this stuff is penetrating my brain. I did have a dream in which I kept saying A che ora parte il prossimo treno? (what time does the next train leave) but trains kept coming and going without me on them. It could be that I wasn't even in Italy and that's why noone understood me.
Today is the warmest day of the week but I had a nice run. Not nearly as sore from biking as I was last week. Then I spent more than an hour hacking away at all the blackberry vines that invaded my yard. I filled up the huge lawn recycling container to the top.
Naomi is going furniture shopping with Dontae. Wish she'd just stay here.
Love Alicia Key's song: Dontcha Know (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMQ66HyENpo&feature=related)
When I can't sleep in the middle of the night (often), I do Italian exercises. Hopefully some of this stuff is penetrating my brain. I did have a dream in which I kept saying A che ora parte il prossimo treno? (what time does the next train leave) but trains kept coming and going without me on them. It could be that I wasn't even in Italy and that's why noone understood me.
Today is the warmest day of the week but I had a nice run. Not nearly as sore from biking as I was last week. Then I spent more than an hour hacking away at all the blackberry vines that invaded my yard. I filled up the huge lawn recycling container to the top.
Naomi is going furniture shopping with Dontae. Wish she'd just stay here.
Love Alicia Key's song: Dontcha Know (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMQ66HyENpo&feature=related)
Sunday, September 13, 2009
The Road to Hell is not paved with good intentions...
I now have enough hair for 'helmet hair'We went to Hell today, a very small village in Michigan popular with bikers, both the motorized and unmotorized ones. Home of the Dam Site Inn (there is a dam).
It was a nice day to bike as there was no wind. In Michigan, they are gradually converting abandonned rail roads to public rightaways. There is alot of resistance to this from adjacent property owners but for the public as a whole, they are a good thing. The Lakeland trail is for bikers, runners, walkers, equestrians and in the winter, skiers and snow mobiles. A good portion has been paved, then there was a section of hard packed dirt but it finally became a sandy pit that was very difficult to ride through. Finally I proposed we take some dirt roads and go to Hell as my friend never has been. She is new to biking and thus to Hell but every year, there is the Ride through Hell. For runners, there are various Runs through Hell and in the winter, there's a run called When Hell Freezes Over. I've done them all. Yeah I know Hell, all 400 square feet of it. It is surrounded by state land and a UM nature preserve so the area is really pretty.
So we went close to 26 miles. This time we were prepared with gloves and gel seats so we'll be less sore. Biking is different than running for me. It is much more relaxing but it takes so much longer to get the same workout.
We stopped at a farmer's stand where I bought a basketball size bright yellow cauliflower. I've seen orange, green and purple but never bright yellow and never so big. I cooked up a small part of it. Very tasty.
It was a nice day to bike as there was no wind. In Michigan, they are gradually converting abandonned rail roads to public rightaways. There is alot of resistance to this from adjacent property owners but for the public as a whole, they are a good thing. The Lakeland trail is for bikers, runners, walkers, equestrians and in the winter, skiers and snow mobiles. A good portion has been paved, then there was a section of hard packed dirt but it finally became a sandy pit that was very difficult to ride through. Finally I proposed we take some dirt roads and go to Hell as my friend never has been. She is new to biking and thus to Hell but every year, there is the Ride through Hell. For runners, there are various Runs through Hell and in the winter, there's a run called When Hell Freezes Over. I've done them all. Yeah I know Hell, all 400 square feet of it. It is surrounded by state land and a UM nature preserve so the area is really pretty.
So we went close to 26 miles. This time we were prepared with gloves and gel seats so we'll be less sore. Biking is different than running for me. It is much more relaxing but it takes so much longer to get the same workout.
We stopped at a farmer's stand where I bought a basketball size bright yellow cauliflower. I've seen orange, green and purple but never bright yellow and never so big. I cooked up a small part of it. Very tasty.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
What color is your tumor?
If someone had asked a year ago, what color the inside of a tumor was, I would have guessed red and gray. When they did the biopsy, I asked to see the tissue specimens: 5 quarter to half inch strings of vermicelli (Italian for little worms)with little streakings of blood. They didn't look evil to me, just strings of fat. The entire mass was white inside as the pathology reported stated. I had read somewhere that capillary density was roughly proportional to VEGF, a protein that causes the tumor to obtain a blood supply so it can grow (Avastin targets this). The more VEGF ones tumor has, the worse the outcome. I had asked the surgeon later if removal of the tumor was especially bloody (meaning that the tumor managed to conscript lots of blood vessels feeding it) and she said no more than 'usual'. I grasp at any straws that might indicate an increased chance of survival.
VEGF is not the only angiogenesis factor. One can block it and slow the tumor's growth down but eventually it figures out other ways to get a blood supply.
The blood vessels that feed a tumor also can carry tumor cells to other parts of the body. In general, for a given tumor size, TNBC is less likely to be found in the nodes that hormone positive BC. No sigh of relief there though as it is more likely to spread in the blood stream.
Yesterday at the support group someone asked what kind of tumor I had: invasive intraductal carcinoma. Yeah but what kind? That is what kind, the kind that 70% of BC patients have. She had a rare type: papillary which generally has a good prognosis but it had mixed cell types and they were unable to ascertain what those mixed cells were until they could grow and possibly do her damage. Thus she was not a happy camper.
I was sad yesterday between the bad news in the mail and the feeling that maybe I am not out of Cancerland.
VEGF is not the only angiogenesis factor. One can block it and slow the tumor's growth down but eventually it figures out other ways to get a blood supply.
The blood vessels that feed a tumor also can carry tumor cells to other parts of the body. In general, for a given tumor size, TNBC is less likely to be found in the nodes that hormone positive BC. No sigh of relief there though as it is more likely to spread in the blood stream.
Yesterday at the support group someone asked what kind of tumor I had: invasive intraductal carcinoma. Yeah but what kind? That is what kind, the kind that 70% of BC patients have. She had a rare type: papillary which generally has a good prognosis but it had mixed cell types and they were unable to ascertain what those mixed cells were until they could grow and possibly do her damage. Thus she was not a happy camper.
I was sad yesterday between the bad news in the mail and the feeling that maybe I am not out of Cancerland.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Cancer aftermath
Even though I am finished with treatment, the aftermath of my treatment remains. Today I received a threatening letter from UM for the unreimbursed x-rays: Pay up in 10 days or it goes to a collection agency and your credit will be impacted. Put a call in to remind them that the charges are in appeal. We have since enrolled the help of the corporate plan administrator who is finding out exactly what we need to do to file a successful 2nd appeal. Again called the physician to see what help they can be in explaining why I needed more port checks than what Aetna believes is necessary. They presumably never ran into this problem before.
And if that wasn't annoying enough, it seems that Naomi got a speeding ticket while we were in MA in exactly the same place she's been warned repeatedly to slow down in. I guess she figured since Dontae paid the ticket, we wouldn't find out about it. Also she found out it will cost an additional $500 in insurance.
Triple Negative in Black Women: I read today that the 5 year survival rate for Black women with TNBC is only 14.5%, which is unbelievably low. I am not sure what it is in white women but I assume its higher but less than the 70% for BC in general. In Ghana, 60% of all BC is TNBC vs 15% here. They are assuming there is some nasty genetic component besides BRAC1/2 that makes it so deadly.
I did go to the support group for BC survivors today. More ladies than usual. One is fighting possible recurrences with a macrobiotic diet that appears to have no protein in it what so ever.
I do like the social worker who also has travelled quite a bit in Italy so we talked about that at the lunch they gave us.
Serenity now.
And if that wasn't annoying enough, it seems that Naomi got a speeding ticket while we were in MA in exactly the same place she's been warned repeatedly to slow down in. I guess she figured since Dontae paid the ticket, we wouldn't find out about it. Also she found out it will cost an additional $500 in insurance.
Triple Negative in Black Women: I read today that the 5 year survival rate for Black women with TNBC is only 14.5%, which is unbelievably low. I am not sure what it is in white women but I assume its higher but less than the 70% for BC in general. In Ghana, 60% of all BC is TNBC vs 15% here. They are assuming there is some nasty genetic component besides BRAC1/2 that makes it so deadly.
I did go to the support group for BC survivors today. More ladies than usual. One is fighting possible recurrences with a macrobiotic diet that appears to have no protein in it what so ever.
I do like the social worker who also has travelled quite a bit in Italy so we talked about that at the lunch they gave us.
Serenity now.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Canncerversary
A year ago today, my tumor was discovered. I had no symptoms that I can remember though after I learned of it presence, I felt an itching inside but maybe I ignored this. Somehow as soon as I entered the doors of the place, I was overcome with a feeling that something was wrong, which did not happen in the past so maybe deep down I knew. They retook numerous mammograms not saying a thing other than wait. I was there 4 hours while other patients came and went. Finally I was told they needed to take an ultrasound and there was my tumor the size and shape of a grape-not big-only 1.6 cm. I tried to ask the radiologist if there could be a benign explanation for this and she sighed as if that was the dumbest thing she ever heard and said she'd set me up with a biopsy. Note to UM: Some training is needed here. This woman has no business interacting with people.
Even though as I later read, there could be many benign explanations for this lesion, I just knew it was cancer and went straight into hysterical self-pity. Unfair! Unfair! Unfair! Too young to die and even my sick relatives got more time than this. I had been taking Prem-pro and threw my remaining packs away. Did this cause it? As it turns out, probably not. When I had the biopsy TWO weeks later (many centers give them on the spot-UM still clings to that dangerous, especially in my case, notion that you had cancer for years and 2 weeks won't make a difference-maybe if they keep repeating that, it will become true but there is no evidence that it is), it was no surprise to me when the positive results came back. A few days later, more results were in and they were even worse. The tumor was triple negative and my only hope of surviving would be chemo. In the bible of breast cancer, Susan Love doesn't even mention TNBC as the term had not been coined until after she published but she does refer to tumors that are receptor negative that are aggressive, deadly, difficult to treat, death sentence..blah, blah, blah that didn't exactly fill me with hope. Going on the internet showed more articles always prefacing with the words 'poor prognosis' 'deadly'. My mom had BC when she was 64, estrogen positive. She had surgery and radiation followed by 5 years of Tamoxifen. End of story.
I think the bleakest time was that first month learning of this whole thing. Worse than the 2 surgeries, worse than the chemo and radiation to follow. Why did I have 2 surgeries? Because in the month between the first mammogram and surgery, this thing had doubled from 1.6 to 3 cm so bad margins and according to their nifty computer programs spitting out prognoses, decreasing my survival 10% or more. I went from Stage 1 to Stage 2A in a month. They are still sticking to their tired 'had this for years' 'tumors just don't grow that fast'.Babies grow that fast and that is controlled growth.
This must be something they learned from lawyers versus actual science. They assume it was a mis-measurement at the start. How hard is it to measure a stationary object? They had the dimensions down to a millimeter.
Even their (the one they use which is a widely used commercial program) prognosis computer is suspect as the data in it is old. Her2 positives are lumped together with the negatives. Only in the last few years did the early stage her2 positives get treated with Herceptin. Ten years ago, the tests to identify them were faulty. Dose dense therapy has not been around for long either so it is now impossible to predict the long term outcome of TNBC. In the short term, though, TNBC is an ugly beast that if it comes back, it comes back soon-mainly in the first year. After 3 years, it is probably gone for good.
So I survived the first year. In 2 years, I can breathe easier though deep down, I think it is gone. Unless one is node positive, thankfully I was negative, they don't screen for metastases. The screens are full of false positives and false negatives. There are no clear markers identified yet for TNBC. They do watch for local recurrences every 3 months as they are something they can do something about. Catching distal recurrences early has little benefit: one just knows that ones days are numbered for a longer time. Distal mets are very difficult to control but fortunately new agents are popping up even effecting a cure such as the PARP inhibitors. Meanwhile we are to watch for symptoms. Bone pain-fortunately rarely below the knees and elbows so pain in the fingers is probably arthritis, not cancer. CNS symptoms such as headache, dizziness, double vision, etc. Liver mets: nausea, weight loss. Lung mets: a tough one as it spreads silently but unexplained coughs. Lung mets are the most common in TNBC. I figure that if I perform at the top of my ability, I will notice if suddenly I can't perform as well. I can run for over an hour without huffing and puffing like I did right after chemo. These lungs seem to be working just fine.
I hate it when people go on and on how glad they got cancer because they learned such valuable lessons. Maybe I have a bad attitude but I am not glad I had cancer. It was terrifying and has left many scars on both my person and psyche even though I recovered much more quickly than most. I am very thankful for the support I received during this whole ordeal especially my husband Steve who waited on me hand and foot so I didn't need to lift a finger and who spent hours arguing with insurance agents, to my children Shanna, Josh and Naomi who tried to make me feel better. Shanna and her son flew out during my first surgery to keep me company. Josh took me out almost every week so I would have some change of scenery and Naomi, who really wanted to quit basketball, played it anyway and made me proud during her season that coincided with my chemo. My friends who brought flowers, little gifts, videos, meals, various goodies and most of all provided company. They even decorated my X-mas tree when I was too tired from chemo to consider even moving. I am thankful for the on-line community for being on my blog trying to cheer me on and share their experiences with me. I learned more from them then anything I learned from the doctors. I am thankful for Lesa in MA, who doesn't know me from squat except as a fellow BC survivor who still sends me these beautiful hand-made cards to cheer me up. Although UM has a long way to go in becoming an ideal treatment center, I am thankful for my principal doctors, especially my onc Dr. Henry who patiently answers all my questions and is never condescending. I also appreciate the Wellness Community with their many support functions: support groups, yoga, tai-chi, and their cooking classes. The local high schools' women's basketball team held a fundraiser this year to benefit LiveStrong. Many of my friends came out to watch the game wearing the LiveStrong T-shirts even though they weren't sports fans. Naomi had a great game and they won. It was a highlight of those bleak winter months of chemo with people buying raffle tickets and donating them to me even though they barely knew me. I did go to the LiveStrong program at the Y and it helped me become stronger faster. The ladies there are very supportive and always visit me when I go back there. They also provided a scholarship so I could return there.
It has been quite a year and I am so ready to move on. I will continue this blog but it will be less cancer related as cancer becomes a smaller and smaller part of my life.
Even though as I later read, there could be many benign explanations for this lesion, I just knew it was cancer and went straight into hysterical self-pity. Unfair! Unfair! Unfair! Too young to die and even my sick relatives got more time than this. I had been taking Prem-pro and threw my remaining packs away. Did this cause it? As it turns out, probably not. When I had the biopsy TWO weeks later (many centers give them on the spot-UM still clings to that dangerous, especially in my case, notion that you had cancer for years and 2 weeks won't make a difference-maybe if they keep repeating that, it will become true but there is no evidence that it is), it was no surprise to me when the positive results came back. A few days later, more results were in and they were even worse. The tumor was triple negative and my only hope of surviving would be chemo. In the bible of breast cancer, Susan Love doesn't even mention TNBC as the term had not been coined until after she published but she does refer to tumors that are receptor negative that are aggressive, deadly, difficult to treat, death sentence..blah, blah, blah that didn't exactly fill me with hope. Going on the internet showed more articles always prefacing with the words 'poor prognosis' 'deadly'. My mom had BC when she was 64, estrogen positive. She had surgery and radiation followed by 5 years of Tamoxifen. End of story.
I think the bleakest time was that first month learning of this whole thing. Worse than the 2 surgeries, worse than the chemo and radiation to follow. Why did I have 2 surgeries? Because in the month between the first mammogram and surgery, this thing had doubled from 1.6 to 3 cm so bad margins and according to their nifty computer programs spitting out prognoses, decreasing my survival 10% or more. I went from Stage 1 to Stage 2A in a month. They are still sticking to their tired 'had this for years' 'tumors just don't grow that fast'.Babies grow that fast and that is controlled growth.
This must be something they learned from lawyers versus actual science. They assume it was a mis-measurement at the start. How hard is it to measure a stationary object? They had the dimensions down to a millimeter.
Even their (the one they use which is a widely used commercial program) prognosis computer is suspect as the data in it is old. Her2 positives are lumped together with the negatives. Only in the last few years did the early stage her2 positives get treated with Herceptin. Ten years ago, the tests to identify them were faulty. Dose dense therapy has not been around for long either so it is now impossible to predict the long term outcome of TNBC. In the short term, though, TNBC is an ugly beast that if it comes back, it comes back soon-mainly in the first year. After 3 years, it is probably gone for good.
So I survived the first year. In 2 years, I can breathe easier though deep down, I think it is gone. Unless one is node positive, thankfully I was negative, they don't screen for metastases. The screens are full of false positives and false negatives. There are no clear markers identified yet for TNBC. They do watch for local recurrences every 3 months as they are something they can do something about. Catching distal recurrences early has little benefit: one just knows that ones days are numbered for a longer time. Distal mets are very difficult to control but fortunately new agents are popping up even effecting a cure such as the PARP inhibitors. Meanwhile we are to watch for symptoms. Bone pain-fortunately rarely below the knees and elbows so pain in the fingers is probably arthritis, not cancer. CNS symptoms such as headache, dizziness, double vision, etc. Liver mets: nausea, weight loss. Lung mets: a tough one as it spreads silently but unexplained coughs. Lung mets are the most common in TNBC. I figure that if I perform at the top of my ability, I will notice if suddenly I can't perform as well. I can run for over an hour without huffing and puffing like I did right after chemo. These lungs seem to be working just fine.
I hate it when people go on and on how glad they got cancer because they learned such valuable lessons. Maybe I have a bad attitude but I am not glad I had cancer. It was terrifying and has left many scars on both my person and psyche even though I recovered much more quickly than most. I am very thankful for the support I received during this whole ordeal especially my husband Steve who waited on me hand and foot so I didn't need to lift a finger and who spent hours arguing with insurance agents, to my children Shanna, Josh and Naomi who tried to make me feel better. Shanna and her son flew out during my first surgery to keep me company. Josh took me out almost every week so I would have some change of scenery and Naomi, who really wanted to quit basketball, played it anyway and made me proud during her season that coincided with my chemo. My friends who brought flowers, little gifts, videos, meals, various goodies and most of all provided company. They even decorated my X-mas tree when I was too tired from chemo to consider even moving. I am thankful for the on-line community for being on my blog trying to cheer me on and share their experiences with me. I learned more from them then anything I learned from the doctors. I am thankful for Lesa in MA, who doesn't know me from squat except as a fellow BC survivor who still sends me these beautiful hand-made cards to cheer me up. Although UM has a long way to go in becoming an ideal treatment center, I am thankful for my principal doctors, especially my onc Dr. Henry who patiently answers all my questions and is never condescending. I also appreciate the Wellness Community with their many support functions: support groups, yoga, tai-chi, and their cooking classes. The local high schools' women's basketball team held a fundraiser this year to benefit LiveStrong. Many of my friends came out to watch the game wearing the LiveStrong T-shirts even though they weren't sports fans. Naomi had a great game and they won. It was a highlight of those bleak winter months of chemo with people buying raffle tickets and donating them to me even though they barely knew me. I did go to the LiveStrong program at the Y and it helped me become stronger faster. The ladies there are very supportive and always visit me when I go back there. They also provided a scholarship so I could return there.
It has been quite a year and I am so ready to move on. I will continue this blog but it will be less cancer related as cancer becomes a smaller and smaller part of my life.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
09/09/09
I thought that this would be a good day for Daniel to be born, not his due date (9/11) or tomorrow (9/10) as the last 2 dates have very negative memories for me. 9/10 was the day my tumor was discovered almost a year ago. But does he listen to me, no, not much.
Today while I was running on a country road, a huge pick-up thought it would be fun to play chicken with me swerving towards me so I would have to jump into a ditch. Thanks for that.
Naomi's boyfriend changed his mind and wants her to move in with him next week. She is just so happy as she sees it as proof that he loves her but I see plenty of problems with this. He will have another roommate and possibly that roommates's girlfriend. Naomi had already arranged to move into a nicer place this winter with 2 girls, which I was OK with but Dontae surprised her last night with this bit of news. He also allegedly is saving up for a ring. She will not listen to me so the best tact is to just let her do it and see the problems for herself. I imagine she'll be back here in less than a month and then she could still go with Plan B.We had a long talk today including discussing how her life would not be changed for the better if she were to get pregnant. I am not sure I am getting through to her.
While we talked, the hummingbird flitted around oblivious to us. We did see a strange bug I never saw before. It was about 1.5 inches in diameter and consisted of black feathery petals with white tips. She thought it was a flying spider but it's 'petals' did not look like legs-very, very thin. I thought at first it was a cottonwood seed but black. All this rain has rotted several of my plants.
Today while I was running on a country road, a huge pick-up thought it would be fun to play chicken with me swerving towards me so I would have to jump into a ditch. Thanks for that.
Naomi's boyfriend changed his mind and wants her to move in with him next week. She is just so happy as she sees it as proof that he loves her but I see plenty of problems with this. He will have another roommate and possibly that roommates's girlfriend. Naomi had already arranged to move into a nicer place this winter with 2 girls, which I was OK with but Dontae surprised her last night with this bit of news. He also allegedly is saving up for a ring. She will not listen to me so the best tact is to just let her do it and see the problems for herself. I imagine she'll be back here in less than a month and then she could still go with Plan B.We had a long talk today including discussing how her life would not be changed for the better if she were to get pregnant. I am not sure I am getting through to her.
While we talked, the hummingbird flitted around oblivious to us. We did see a strange bug I never saw before. It was about 1.5 inches in diameter and consisted of black feathery petals with white tips. She thought it was a flying spider but it's 'petals' did not look like legs-very, very thin. I thought at first it was a cottonwood seed but black. All this rain has rotted several of my plants.
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