Drama

Maya

Allie performing heart surgery on her Cabbage Patch doll

we had a family gathering for their great uncle

Maya couldn't come with all her cousins but had plenty of time with her great uncle

meanwhile lots of snow and cold here

A bit of color: the cardinal and my lanterns

I spent almost a week by myself as Steve went to New York to go to his cousin's funeral. It was lonely but I did get a few chores done and I had Maya some of the time. I did go to a Mary Kay party one of the nights even though I hate the idea of these pyramid schemes that exploits women's friends lists. The make up is very expensive and I did buy some which I regret. Just say No, Sue. But it was fun. I did watch a few Netflix series that Steve would not stand and I kept the shades up so I could watch the deer in my yard. Tried not to feel sorry for myself.

I did get plenty of updates from Steve. His cousin, as is most of his family, is Jewish but his widow is not and his funeral was 'Christian". Not sure what his cousin actually wanted. Not my business I guess. My friend who died last August had plenty of time to plan every detail of her service. So instead of being buried within 2 days unembalmed, he was buried 6 days later, embalmed in a casket. This meant he could not go to the family plot. And instead of sitting shiva, there was a wake. The casket was closed though one person insisted on a viewing started to pry open the casket much to the shock and dismay of the Jewish relatives. Steve got to meet the first cousin they all just found about last year as a result of ancestry.com. She cried when she met some of these cousins for the first time. She knew no one from her father's side.

At the funeral luncheon somewhere way out in Long Island (no room left in NYC for burials), they were just beginning lunch when the widow collapsed. She was rushed to a hospital. Apparently she has very high blood pressure which caused a brain bleed. It is almost 8 days later and I still don't think she is conscious yet though her seizures have stopped. Her poor children who have been on  a death vigil for their father for two months now are dealing with their mom. She will probably live but in what condition? Life is so unfair.

Steve's brother came back with him giving me updates at which mile marker they were at. Fortunately no ice anywhere (but here!). Steve brought home classic New York treats: cherry cheese knishes which are becoming harder and harder to find, rainbow cookies and pignoli; the latter being Italian delicacies. And one sfogliatella for me.  Ann Arbor, diverse as it is, lacks a large Italian population though there a few outposts in the Detroit suburbs. When I went for my summer in Abruzzo with people of Italian heritage (I have none), a lot came from Windsor (who hate being called Americans)

So the last few days have been full of family visiting the uncle and me cooking and cleaning. One night we had an euchre tournament (a Michigan speciality though I guess it has some fans in other midwest states)
I have been diligently running even at one point when the high was all of 5 degrees to counteract this feasting. Hope it worked.

Alone and a big storm is coming

to keep my spirits up, I try to have flowers in the house. Pug vase?  I have lots of pug stuff

I keep amaryllis bulbs around hoping they would bloom again. Usually they don't but this year I got lucky twice

on one of our 50 degree days we had a beautiful sunset

rooting around in old photos, I found this of Steve

I was looking for this from 1985 when we met in West Virginia spending a weekend in a house in the woods

Steve's cousin is to the far right, his brother to the far left. The man behind Steve was a close friend who died of the same kind of cancer 20 years ago as his cousin. The teenager holding Josh was his cousin's oldest step son. Until that weekend, he never had left the city (Either Kingston, Jamaica or NYC) Being in the country was an eye opener for him. At first he bitched about having no TV but then he saw deer surrounding us

Josh in 1983 intent on not losing his balance. Someday I will organize those photos

His cousin reading a story to his granddaughter 2 years ago. Her father was born about a month after our West Virginia reunion

my other success

we had our mother's group last weekend. This is a raspberry pavlova that is browner than it should be. I told Steve that I had a meringue drying out in the oven so don't use it but he did (we do have another oven). At the end of the summer, I roasted what was left of my rhubarb, a bit too much so I added some raspberries to restore some red

Early this morning, I was given a last minute lesson on how to start the snow blower, open the choke so much, turn on this switch, pump this button so many times, then pull the cord...what are the chances I can get this to work? Slim to none and why is this so complicated? We have divvied up the responsibilities somewhat according to our abilities (and we do need a third person to fill up some major holes in our joint skilled set). Yep I could do laundry but I hate folding things. He could learn to scrub pans but he tends to throw them in the dishwasher which then makes my scrubbing job worse. I am pretty sure he didn't buy the special gasoline without additives that gum up the works for the lawn mowers and the snow blower. It did work for our storm 3 months ago in November.

Steve is on his way to New York to attend his cousin's funeral. He left early to beat out two storms coming our way. Alarmist forecasts claim between the two we should get 8.5 inches. I am nervous about him driving alone specially as he is not attentive as he should be. But he is going to a full house. I gave him my camping supplies as they are more comfortable than a sleeper sofa (bar in the back anyone?) and I have Maya duties. He is taking the old car, the one that blew a tire last time as he doesn't want to expose the new car to the streets of NYC. The car is fixed, which he still blames me for parking in Ann Arbor where Amazon trucks can back into your front bumper with piercing parts. I did see the amazon truck while walking back to the car though I didn't see it hit. I have been viewing them suspiciously. Josh's company makes them but he claims not to have worked on that part.

His cousin is a month older than me. Such a nice man. Steve doesn't have many friends as he hates putting the effort to keep them. His cousin was his closest friend. Before we were married, we went to NYC the summer of 77. His cousin drove a cab then so we got a Manhattan cabbie ride at what I thought was breakneck speed. I know we stopped in the Village where I had my first cappuccino (none in Ann Arbor in those days) and we took the Staten Island Ferry. Two years later he stayed with us during the time Shanna was born. On the day I thought I was in labor, I was teaching him to canoe. It seems that the New Yorkers I know have little experience with water. When the Michiganders met up with the New Yorkers in West Virginia in 1985 as pictured above, my friend and I wanted to go white water rafting on the Cheat (on a relatively calm section, later in life I went on the hair raising section), we got few takers. Her boyfriend (who died of colon cancer 20 years ago) reluctantly went but refused to go through the rapids. We had to pull over so he could scramble along the side. Technically I am a New Yorker too having lived in upstate New York but I have been told, that doesn't count.

We did go to the hospital after the canoe trip since my contractions were getting closer (no good stopwatches in those days) only to be told that I was NOT in labor because I shouldn't be able to smile during a contraction. I could be admitted if I wanted as my blood pressure was through the roof but I went home as I had arranged a date for Steve's cousin. I returned to the hospital not smiling shortly after. I asked the doctor later that how can he say I wasn't in labor when I had a baby 6 hours later, sounds like I was having something...

We knew his cousin's cancer came back this summer. Treatment seemed to be working but an  infection stopped treatment and he became too weak to resume treatment. We went to NYC in December as soon as we heard he was in hospice to say goodbye. On Saturday as his family and friends were visiting, he had mustered up strength to hug them. He was gone the next morning. Is it a myth that dying people get a burst of energy? He leaves a wife, two children, 3 step children, 3 grand children and I don't know how many step grand children. His wife was thinking thirteen. Numerous friends as he was such a warm out-going guy. One of my fondest memories was having Jewish Jamaican Thanksgiving at his house maybe 17 years ago. I think I was the only non Jewish or Jamaican person. I tried to avoid the curried goat. He is going to be buried almost a week after dying instead of within 48 hours as usually the case with observant Jewish people but this was his choice.

So I am dreading the snow. I did love the two days of it being 50. I was able to comfortably bike though there was still ice on the dirt roads. The stuff won't come in until late tonight.